The Darkest Sides
by peterpanlover
Summary: Peter already has his arms wrapped around my waist, our lips nearly touching. "What are you doing? He is evil!" the voice in my head screams hysterically, but for the first time the usual reminder isn't enough to make me consider the wrongness of my actions. "Yeah, but I'm a lot like that myself," I shoot back, and the admittance is all it takes for me to be lured into the kiss.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Once Upon A Time**

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Chapter 1: Kidnapped

"I say we fight!" says James, pounding the table with his fist. He and I are standing around a circular table with other people sitting in chairs beside us; Snow White, an old man, two of the dwarves, Red and her grandmother, and some guards. The couple has already explained the curse to everyone in the council chamber, thanks to Rumple's information. We went to see him in his cell a few hours ago, and that was when he told us that Snow's child, Emma, will return to save us from Regina's curse in twenty-eight years.

I am about to say how much I agree with James when the cricket, who is standing on the table, speaks up: "Fighting is a bad idea. Giving in to one's dark side never accomplishes anything."

I roll my eyes at his comment. "And how many wars have a clear conscious won?" I point out.

"Zoe is right," James says. "We need to take the queen out before she can inflict her curse." He seems to be the only one in this room making any sense.

"Can we even trust Rumplestinskin?" one of the dwarves asks cautiously.

"Of course we can," I state, and James nods. I know that Rumple would never lie to me. If he told me that a curse is coming, then it's coming. I have known him for a long time, meeting him only a short while after he became the Dark One. I was seventeen at the time, and neither one of us have aged ever sense because of his magic, so I still look like a teenager. I'm not sure how but, ever since I met him, we have bonded in ways I can't explain. We both care for each other as if we were brother's, and it has stayed like that through all this years.

"I've sent my man into the forest," he says. "The animals are abuzz with the queen's plan. This is going to happen unless we do something."

"There's no point," says Snow White. "The future is written."

"No. I refuse to believe that. Good can't just loose," James says, determination in his voice.

"Maybe it can," Snow responds almost in a whisper without looking at her husband.

"No, no. Not as long as we have each other," says James warmly. He seats himself beside Snow to be at her eye level and she turns to look at him. I remember how I used to feel sick when they became so sentimental, but I have gotten used to it over time. "If you believe him about the curse then you must believe him about our child. She will be the savior."

Snow looks like she is about to reply, but before she can, the doors of the council chamber suddenly burst open and I turn my head to see a group of guards carrying a wide tree trunk.

"What the hell is this?" demands James, standing up again.

My blue eyes then move to follow The Blue Fairy, who is flying towards the table and has just stopped.

"Our only hope of saving that child," she answers.

"A tree? Our faith rests on a tree? Let's get back to the fighting thing," says Grumpy, and I roll my eyes at him. Of course I, as a person who was born with magic, know that what is standing in front of us isn't just a normal tree. I can feel the magic radiating from it, and it's quite a big amount.

"The tree is enchanted," The Blue Fairy explains, confirming my theory. "If fashioned into a vessel, it can wardrobe any curse," she then turns to the old man seating to my left. "Gepetto, can you build such a thing?"

"Me and my boy, we can do it," Gepetto replies, gently stroking his son's head, who is seating on the floor next to the table whilst he plays with his toys.

The Blue Fairy's gaze goes back to Snow White and James. "This will work. We all must have faith." Snow White holds James's hand and smiles gently at him. "There is, however, a catch," The Blue Fairy continues. "The enchantment is indeed powerful, but all power has its limits. And this tree can protect only one."

At The Blue Fairy's information, Snow's smile immediatly fades away and the couple exchange worried looks. It's settled. To save everyone, James will have to stay. He and Snow White will be turned away from each other. They look back at The Blue Fairy at the same time. "We'll do it anyway," James states.

I stand up angrily, the frustration overtaking me. "What the hell is wrong with you people?" They all stare at me in confusion. "I already didn't like the idea of everyone just accepting that we'll be cursed for twenty-eight years. But you two," I glance at Snow and James. "Are making way too many sacrifices."

"Zoe," Snow replies softly in that motherly way I hate her doing. "I don't want to leave him, but sometimes you make sacrifices for the people you love. This is our best chance."

I scowl at that. "No," I state, and my eyes darken as I think of Regina. "It isn't."

I then use my magic to make my chair move further backwards so that I have enough space to start walking quickly towards the doors.

"Zoe, stop!" I hear James call me from behind. "Where are you going?"

"To stop Regina once and for all," I reply without turning back.

"You can't do that!" I hear Snow's begging voice. I turn around to face them and see that James is already a few feet away from me and Snow has stood up from her chair.

"Why not? I can take her down; you all know I can," I say, my tone matter-of-fact.

"Hey, nobody doubts how powerful your magic is," James says, walking even closer to me. Yeah, that's something I'm quite sure of. My magic is the reason for half of the people in the Enchanted forest to be afraid of me, and is also the reason for which Regina has a bargain on my head. She and I have never really gotten along. "Zoe, you've had a lot of opportunities to kill her before. Why change your mind now?"

"Because I thought it wasn't necessary," I snap at him. "You convinced me that we should do it your way, and I agreed. I only now realize how wrong I was." Now that I'm finally letting go of an anger that suddenly rises, I realize that even though I don't want to, deep down I blame them. I blame James and Snow White for telling me that there were other ways to deal with Regina than death. But it's my fault, really, because I'm the one who gave in. Maybe if I hadn't we would never be having this meeting. "You don't have to make all this sacrifices. I can stop the curse from happening and save us all this trouble, isn't that what you want?"

"Like Snow White said, the future is written," says the cricket, flying towards me. I'm already getting tired of him interfering. "There's nothing we can do to stop her."

I smirk at that. "We shall see." I turn and keep walking towards the doors of the room, my strides smooth and confident.

"Zoe-" Snow starts, but I cut her off by stopping and turning my head over my shoulder.

"You should prepare the wardrobe anyway," I cut her off. "Just in case." It's just a precaution in case something goes wrong; even though I'm confident that killing Regina won't be so hard, considering that my magic is far more powerful than her's.

* * *

When I'm outside of Snow and James's castle, I immediately feel a chilling breeze against my skin. I zip on my black jacket, covering my black shirt, and start walking. Because of the dark sky, the trees around me are barely visible, though I can still see their leaves rustling because of the wind. The wind starts to get stronger to the point that it causes my light brown hair to cover my face, and I remove it impatiently.

All of the sudden, the wind stops abruptly. And that's when I sense it: the magic. But it's not light magic like the one radiating from The Blue Fairy or of the Enchanted Wardrobe; this one is dark and twisted. I look around warily, but I can't see anything but trees.

Suddenly, I feel a cold, strong grip on my wrist, but before I can make any sense of what is going on, I am dragged upwards.

I scream and realize that whatever is holding my wrist is taking me higher and higher, the trees shrinking below me until they are the size of Legos. I look up and see that the thing that is dragging me is a body-less shadow. This makes me want to use my magic to make it release me, but I immediately push the thought away, knowing that this kind of fall would definitely kill me. Now we are so high that I'm afraid it will accidentally let go of my wrist, but the shadow seems to have an iron grip. I look in front of us, realizing that the shadow is taking me towards two stars, particularly to the second star to the right.

As we get closer to the star, the light radiating from it starts to be too much, and I cant help but slam my eyes closed. When I sense that the light has faded, I open them again to see that beneath me there are no longer trees, but there is a sea instead.

"Let me go!" I yell, but the shadow simply ignores me. I see the distinct shape of an island in the distance and, suddenly, I start to hear a sound that makes me feel the urge to cover my ears. Is that… crying? I can perfectly hear it from here and I'm still far away from the island, so it can't be normal.

What kind of place is this?

I'm definitely not staying to find out.

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**I apologize for changing the story this much, but I promise you that this new version will be a lot better than the old one. The plot hasn't changed, though now the story is written from Zoe's POV and well...a lot is different. I just hope that you like this story more than the old one. Please review and tell me what you think! Following and Favoriting my story is really appreciated. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own Once Upon a Time**

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Chapter 2: Welcome to Neverland

"No! Don't take me there!" I shout to the body-less shadow that is carrying me, but it simply ignores my cries as we start to descend towards the island. Now that we are not flying so high, I don't give it any more thought: I use my magic to make my hand flare on fire. I am released without a warning, and fall into water.

My instincts immediately tell me to swim towards the surface, which is very close to me, but I have to remind myself that I have to stay under the water long enough so that the shadow doesn't see and grab me again, which won't be easy considering how dark the water is. When I can't hold my breath anymore, I swim back to the surface and take a deep breath.

My eyes go strait for the island, and I think I catch a glimpse of the shadow, which is flying towards it.

Good, I lost it.

As I start floating, small waves splash against my face, making me cough and spill the salty water out. My teeth shatter because of the freezing water, and my entire body starts shivering erratically. Without further hesitation, I use my magic to transport myself to the shore of the island, where I collapse to the ground from an exhaustion that only comes when I use my magic at great amounts. My whole body feels heavy. My boots, my jeans, my shirt, and my jacket are soggy and wet, and my long, light-brown hair is dripping. My limbs complain as I force myself to stand up and walk deeper into the island until I enter a jungle. Now that I am less exposed because of the trees around me, I allow myself to stop walking and lean against a tree trunk to support myself.

I breathe heavily - in and out -still exhausted from transporting myself that far. A cold breeze makes me shiver, and I would use my magic to dry my body if it weren't for the fact that my current lack of energy is already overwhelming and any more magic is sure to make me pass out.

I sigh and force myself to keep on walking. I can't stay here, out-in-the-open, for too long, because it doesn't seem like this place is safe at all. I need to find shelter first, but this is unknown ground. I'm not in the Enchanted Forest anymore.

* * *

After a few minutes of walking through the jungle, I find myself lost. I still can hear the crying, and it takes half of my concentration away.

_'Stop it,'_ I tell myself. _ 'You need to focus.'_

I have a bad feeling about this place. I don't know how, I just know that I do. I walk wearily for a few more minutes before I stop dead and hide behind a tree trunk, just in time for a group of boys to walk in a strait line right in front of me.

As I look at them more closely, I realize that they are teenagers just like I am. They are all wearing grey cloaks with the hoods up and are carrying bows, clubs, spears, and swords. As they are walking in front of me, I give a step back and step on a stick, which breaks in half.

Shoot.

The noise is loud enough to make two of the teenagers turn to me, and I don't react fast enough to hide my head behind the tree trunk before they see me.

"She is alive!" one of them shouts. Suddenly they are all in front of me with their weapons pointed at my body. Two boys grab me from behind, one of them holding my arms tightly so that I am forced to stay still as the other one ties my hands together. I try to pull away, but their hold on me is too strong to bother. This couldn't have happened in a worse moment; I still don't have my magic back because it was all used up in transporting myself from the sea to the island, which makes every limb in my body be weak.

"Pan will be pleased when he finds out about you" says one of them in a monotonous voice. My blue eyes meat with his. He has blond hair and is armed with a club, but what calls my attention the most is the scar that crosses his entire face.

"What are you doing?" I demand as I keep trying unsuccesfully to pull away. "Who the hell are you people?" I ask, more to him than to the other boys, since I sense that he is the one in charge.

"We are the Lost ones," he replies, extending his arms to the group of boys. "We work for Pan."

I raise an eyebrow in confusion. "Where am I?"

"Oh, I almost forgot," He extends his arms again. "Welcome to Neverland."

* * *

As the last phrase of the scar-faced boy sinks in, a wave of fear rushes through me. This can't be happening. Of all the places a magical shadow could've taken me, it had to be Neverland. Nobody who has set foot on the island has ever escaped, and they stay trapped forever in a place where time stands still.

With this terrifying thought invading my mind, I try to run away, but the two lost boys who tied my hands grab my arm hard and pull me back towards them.

"Let's not make Pan wait," the scar-faced boy says with a smirk, his eyes fixed directly on me. I manage to glare at him before I am dragged by the two lost boys and am forced to start walking.

The scar-faced boy takes over as soon as we start walking so that he is the one holding me. Even if no one was holding me, I still wouldn't be able to escape, as I'm now walking at the middle of the Lost boys and completely surrounded. Besides, they all have their weapons in hand, so my odds of escaping unscathed aren't good. Even the scar-faced boy has a knife pointed at my back, as if he doesn't believe holding me is enough. I would use my magic, but it still hasn't regenarated completely from before.

In other words, I'm screwed.

* * *

We stop walking and I analyze the place carefully. There are other boys here; some of them are dancing around a bonfire, others are playing with swords, and others are making music with drums, or simply by making noises with their mouth or feet. The majority of the boys who are here, I notice, are younger than the ones who captured me. The camp is the total opposite to the island in general –the island looks dark and twisted, while this camp is full of light, full of life.

I could make a run for it now that they are distracted, but Felix still has a strong grip on me and a knife pointed at my back. So my odds are still low.

Nobody seems to notice our presence except for a boy who stands up from the stump on which he was seated. The boy looks around 17 years old, just like me. He has blond-dirty hair, and grey-greenish eyes.

"And who is this?" the boy asks with a raised eyebrow, coming a few steps closer to us. He looks at me up and down, his eyes curious, as if I'm some sort of animal that he needs to understand.

From here I can sense his magic, the way in which he probably senses mine, and I immediately know who he is without anyone having to tell me: the one and only Peter Pan.

The realization sends a shiver up my spine, but I won't give him the satisfaction to know that, so I force myself to remain calm.

"We found her in the Southern part of the island," says the scar-faced boy, who is still preventing me from escaping. "She must be the girl who the shadow dropped and supposedly had drowned."

Peter nods. "Good job, boys."

He then fixes his eyes on mine. "I'm Peter. Peter Pan." He introduces himself with a smirk, as if his name makes him proud. "Welcome to Neverland," he says like the scar faced boy had, though his voice is much, much colder.

"And you are?" he asks with a raised eyebrow, still smirking.

"Zoe," I reply, glad that my voice didn't tremble in the slightest. "Now can you tell me why the hell your shadow brought me here?"

Pan chuckles. "Right to the point, huh?"

When I don't answer, he continuous. "I'm afraid my shadow simply got confused."

He is lying. I'm sure he is. There has to be more to this; he just isn't telling me. But it's not like I'm in the best position to push it.

"Great," I say dryly. "That means I can go home." I congratulate myself when it comes out sounding more like a statement than a question.

His eyes darken, and I am tempted to take a step back. Hell, to get as far away from him as possible.

"Sorry love, but that won't happen."

Instead of fear, I feel anger. If he thinks that I will stay here for the rest of my life, then he is just wrong. The scar-faced boy is still behind me, but, like all the other boys who captured me, he is distracted by my conversation with Pan. I decide to risk it and start to untie the rope around my wrists, thought it is harder than it looks.

"Why not," I demand. "As I have heard, you don't like having girls in Neverland."

He shrugs innocently. "But you are not normal, are you?" He then transports himself closer to me. I curse myself for taking a small step back by instinct, and he grins at my reaction, giving me a smug smile.

"I can sense your magic from here," he continuous as he starts pacing in front of me. "And it's not any kind of magic. This is different. It's more powerful than most, right? Am I getting warm?"

He smirks when he realizes than I can't back away any further, or my back will be pierced by the scar-faced boy's knife.

I raise an eyebrow.

"What does this have to do with me not being able to get out of here?" Yes, my magic is sure as hell powerful, and it is sure as hell rare, but I still can't see where he is going with all this.

"It has everything to do with it. Don't you see? You are one-of-a-kind. Your powers make you a very valuable person, Zoe," he is suddenly only inches away from me, and he leans to whisper something in my ear. "The kind of person that can always be useful to me."

He backs away a little so that I can look at him. He gives me an evil smirk, and his eyes have darkened so much that I have to force myself not to look away, but I can't let him know that he is getting under my skin.

I don't like where he is heading. He means he wants to _keep_ me, like I'm some sort of object. And his glance; it's possessive, like he owns me already.

It is then when I feel my magic has regenarated enough for me to use some of it, and I thank God for that.

"Sorry, Pan. But I can't stay," I say before I manage to untie my hands, and I immediately extend my arm towards the teenager in front of me, making a grey wave radiate from my palm. The wave sends every boy in the camp flying backwards, including the scar-faced boy who was holding his knife at me and, surprisingly, Peter.

He is the only one to land on his feet, but I don't stay long enough to see his reaction; I start running away from the camp as fast as I can, and immediately hear footsteps behind me.

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**Hey guys! So Zoe is in Neverland and she just met Peter Pan :0 I'm so sorry for updating so late but I promise that the next chapter will be published a lot faster! Any reviews on this chapter? Please favorite and/or follow my story :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Once Upon a Time**

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Chapter 3: Reunited

Though I managed to throw some of my magic at Pan and every Lost boy back in the camp, my powers still haven't fully regenerated. It's why I'm short of energy right now, which doesn't help much when there's a group of wild boys running at my heels. If I had my strength back I could easily lose them-or simply use my magic to make them fall asleep-but the magic I used to escape from the camp was the very last I had. So, instead, I have to force my fatigued legs to keep on moving, though I'm not sure for how much longer they'll continue to obey me.

Even though I'm exhausted, I'm still way faster than them, and it sends a wave of pride through me as I sense them falling further and further behind me with every step. The Lost boys finally lose sight of me for a moment, and I stop running to regain my breath. It's when I look around that I see the familiar shape of a hidden cave. The Lost boys are going to be here at any moment, so without much choice I run towards it and jump the tall rocks covering the entrance, entering the cave with one daring movement.

When my feet land on the ground, my eyes immediately fix on a boy. At the sight of me, he quickly stands up from the flat rock he was laying on, reaching for a knife resting beside him. Being that I just broke into his secret hiding-spot, I can't say that I blame him.

The boy points his knife at me and opens his mouth to say something, but I stop him before he can, transporting myself only inches in front of him and placing my hand on his mouth. Then, as he panics, I hold his wrist with my other hand so as to stop him from moving the knife.

Before he can react, we start hearing footsteps in the distance. They get louder as the Lost boys approach the cave, and they seem to stop running right in front of it. Of course, due to their lack of experience in the forest, they can't see the cave, but even the slightest noise from me or this boy is sure to make them realize it. The boy seems to understand this, and I look at him with pleading eyes, begging him to stay quiet at least until the Lost boys leave.

"Where did she go?" I hear one of the lost boys speak from outside the cave, his voice a bit nervous.

"You lost her?" another boy accuses.

"It wasn't my fault! She is too fast!"

"Tell that to Pan," the second boy snaps. "We'll split up. This group goes left and we go right."

"Let's go," another voice joins in. I hear them run away, and a few seconds later I finally let out a sigh of relief and remove my hand from the boy's mouth.

"Thanks," I say. "I just couldn't keep running any longer."

"How did you do that?" The boy asks wearily, backing away from me in his shock. Now that I have a good look at his face I start having this strange feeling that I can't quite shake –it's like I know him from somewhere.

I raise an eyebrow. "Do what?"

"You used magic."

"Yeah," I simply reply. I just spent the only bit of it I had left to transport myself in front of him. That little glimpse of magic is what had regenerated whilst I was running from the Lost boys, so now all that's left to do is wait until more comes back to me.

It's when I'm thinking this that I feel the boy's dark eyes fix upon me.

"Zoe?" he asks cautiously. I turn to face him and tilt my head in confusion as I give him a strong, focused glance, trying to figure out how he knows me. I try to really look at him, and it is then when the realization finally hits me, forcing me into shock.

"Bae," I say. He nods and, before I know it, we are hugging so hard I can barely breath. It's been so many years since I last saw him; so many that I didn't even _recognize_ him. Back in the Enchanted Forest, Bae was more than a friend to me –he was like the brother I had always wished for. The years without him have been hard.

"The portal took you to Neverland," I say as the realization hits me over the side of the head. "Rumplestinskin hasn't stopped looking for you."

I can feel his body tense at the mere mention of his father's name, and he breaks the hug by backing away.

"He's a coward," he spits, indignation heavy with every word. "He left me for the power of a dagger." His hands form two fists at his sides, and I know that he is struggling to control his voice. "He chose that crap over me. And now he means _nothing_ to me."

"Bae, you have all the right to be mad at him. But your father loves you, and he regretted leaving you the moment he did."

"How can you defend him!" He snaps at me, and I can see the anger flashing in his eyes. "You of all people should understand what it feels like to be abandoned!"

I remain quiet for a moment as I let his words sink in. When I was a baby, a couple took me in after finding me in a basket in the woods. But after my new mother died, her husband left me to live on my own. I was only four years old when that happened, and since then I've had to learn how to look after myself. I also had to teach myself how to use and control my magic, which I've had since I was born. It wasn't easy, but everything got a thousand times better when I met Rumple.

I must have stayed quiet for too long, because Bae gives me a concerned look, guilt emanating of his features.

"Zoe, I'm-."

"I refused to talk to him for years, Bae," I cut him off before he can apologize. "But I ended up forgiving him. I'm sorry if that upsets you, but that's just what happened."

He nods. "It's okay, I get it." He then seats down on the flat rock he was lying on when I entered the cave. "Now, what are you doing in Neverland?"

I sigh. "Pan's shadow came out of nowhere and he took me here."

"But _why_? I mean; you are a _girl_."

I shrug. "Pan said his shadow got confused, but he won't let me leave anyway because of my magic."

He raises an eyebrow. "What about your magic?"

"I don't know, Bae," I confess. "He just said that I am powerful, and that my magic makes me special or something. I don't get it."

"Well, your magic _is _special, isn't it?"

"Yeah, but I'm still not sure what Pan want's to do with it." I seat down next to Bae, my tired, aching body immediately thanking me for it.

"You're counting the days?" I pass my hand over the wall where there is an array of chalk markings.

The boy shakes his head. "Was," he corrects me. "I gave up long ago."

"You've been trapped a long time, Bae." I say as the realization truly strikes me. "Time we get out of here."

"But it's impossible," he says, and there's a deep sadness in his voice that wasn't there the last time we'd spoken. "I've tried to escape for more years than you can imagine."

"That's because you didn't have me," I say smugly. "And you didn't have my magic."

* * *

**UUUuuu...What do you think Zoe's magic will have to do with Baelfire's escape? And what is so special about Zoe's magic? But, most of all, what does Pan wan't do do with it? Can you guess? The answer to one of this questions will be revealed in the next chapter! Please review and tell me what you guys think :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Once Upon a Time**

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Chapter 4: Grey comes from a mix of Black and White

"Zoe?" the voice makes me stop dead in my tracks, and I turn to face Bae, who seats himself on the flat rock he had been sleeping on a few seconds ago. "Where are you going?"

I sigh. My plan was to sneak out in the middle of the night without him noticing, though I hadn't anticipated that he would be such a light sleeper.

"I'm getting away from you," I confess.

He gives me a confused glance. "Why would you do that?"

"Because Pan is looking for me, Bae. And if he can sense my magic, it's only a matter of time until he finds me." I explain, this time allowing my worry to reach my voice.

If Pan finds out about Bae's secret cave, I realized last night, then Bae would no longer have a place to hide, and Pan would force him to stay in camp. I can't do that to him.

"He won't," he assures me with a determined voice. I've never understood how he can be so optimistic in situations like this.

"You don't know that. You've been hidden here for years. I don't want to ruin it for you."

"But where will you go? There is no other place to hide," Bae points out.

"I will figure something out," I assure him with a shy smile.

He sighs, shaking his head slowly. "Don't tell me you were about to leave without saying goodbye first."

"I've never been good at goodbyes," I confess. He then stands up and walks towards me, stopping only when I'm caught in the embrace of his strong hug.

"Be careful," he whispers, his breath ticking the back of my neck.

"I'll be okay," I say, focusing on keeping the tears from falling down my eyes. "Now my magic is back, so I can defend myself just fine."

"But what about escaping?"

"I will find a way," I state. "That's a promise." I then end the hug by turning to walk away, mainly because I can't keep on hugging him without bursting into tears.

_This_ is why I hate goodbyes. No matter how warm the hugs may feel or how meaningful the words may be, goodbyes only increase the pain that people feel after they have been separated from the person they said goodbye to. Goodbyes are only another painful moment to remember when they start missing him.

"Will you come to visit me?" Bae's voice stops me just before I start climbing the rocks at the cave's entrance. I turn my head over my shoulder to look at him.

"I will try," I reply simply before climbing the rocks as fast as I can and jumping out of the cave. When my feet touch the ground, I force myself to walk away without even so much as glancing behind me.

* * *

_Rumplestinskin and I watched as the cab, with the three sisters inside, left the house. Those girls were wearing elegant dresses, faces heavily made up, whilst the girl in front of us was almost the complete opposite. Cinderella looked a little older than me, but instead of jeans and a jacket, she was wearing a ragged, filthy grey dress. Rumplestinskin and I could see her from here, but she couldn't see us because we were using our invisibility. We watched the girl sweep her broom from side to side with tears in her eyes, looking hopelessly at the castle, which was only just visible in the distance. While Cinderella was distracted, a small fairy wearing a yellow dress came flying up from behind, stopping right in front of her._

"_Do not despair my dear, you will attend that ball," said the fairy, her melodious voice making Cinderella turn to look at her, shocked. I glanced at Rumplestinskin, who smirked immediately upon seeing the fairy. Before we came here, he told me he knew a fairy would come here to help this poor girl. He wanted the wand the fairy possessed, which was the whole reason we had come here in the first place. I had permission to use everything Rumplestinskin owned if I wanted to, so if he had this wand, then it would be mine too. _

"_Who are you?" asked Cinderella. At that, the fairy grew to a human size, her skin flawless and nearly glowing. "I'm your fairy godmother," she replied. "And I'm here to change your life, Cinderella."_

"_But, my stepmother told me that I couldn't go, she forbade me to leave." Cinderella said sadly, shaking her head._

"_Your step mother doesn't have this," said the fairy, referring to the bright yellow wand she made appear in the palm of her hand._

"_Do you want to do the honors?" Rumplestinskin asked me, grinning from ear to ear. _

"_This wand has the power to take you to your ball. To your prince, and to-."_

_I simply smirked and, with a wave of my hand, the fairy vanished into thin air, leaving only yellow dust behind and, of course, the wand. _

_Cinderella took several steps back, looking startled. "What? Uh?" she said to herself. Rumplestinskin then took away the invisibility so that Cinderella could see the two of us. He crouched to pick up the wand._

"_What did you do?" Cinderella asked, looking strait into my blue eyes with a mix of fear and anger. But it was Rumplestinskin who answered her._

"_Now, now, I got what I wanted," he said. "There's no need to be frightened."_

"_No need?" Cinderella asked incredulously. "You just killed my fairy god-mother. She was trying to help me!"_

"_Was she?" He questioned. "Do you know what this is?" He referred to the wand by slightly moving it from side to side, almost singing his words as he did so. _

"_Pure magic," Cinderella replied, confident of her answer._

"_Pure evil," I corrected. "Trust me, we've done you a favor. All magic comes with a price. Go and budge your life. And if you're lucky enough, you'll still have something to go back to."_

"_I have nothing to go back to," Cinderella said sadly. "My life, it's wretched." _

"_Then change it," Rumplestinskin said. "You can't handle this." He pointed at the wand he was holding. Then we turned around and started walking away from Cinderella, a stride in both our steps._

"_Wait please, wait!" she begged, running until she was in front of us. "I _can_ handle it. Please, I will do anything to get out of here, anything!" _

"_Anything?" Rumplestinskin emphasised the word, and I glanced at him suspiciously. I knew that look; I had seen it throughout the years I've known him. This was the look he made when he was about to make one of his deals. _

"_Does one of you know how to use that wound, Mr. and M.s…?"_

"_Rumplestinskin," he vowed. _

"_Zoe Brook," I said with a smirk. "And yes, of course we do."_

"_Then help me," Cinderella pleaded. _

"_Well if I do, and you can indeed shoulder the…consequences, then you'll owe me a favor." Rumplestinskin stated, walking round Cinderella to look at her from all angles. _

"_Name it, what do you want?" She asked, desperation seeping from her voice. _

"_Something precious," Rumplestinskin answered simply. _

"_But I have nothing."_

"_Oh, but you will," he said. "From this wish will come riches more than you know."_

"_I care nothing for riches, I'll give you anything you want, just get me out of here." Rumplestinskin smiled and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. This girl was so naïve._

"_Now we are talking," he said maliciously. _

"_Well, how does it work?" She asked eagerly. _

"_Fear not. My needs are small, and all you have to do is sign on the dotted line." When he finished saying the word 'line', a stretched contract and a quill appeared in his hand. "Do we have a deal?"_

"_Yes, yes thank you," said Cinderella, relief clear in her voice. Rumplestinskin placed the piece of paper against his back and crouched a little while Cinderella signed as fast as she could, her fingers rushing as if she was afraid the quill would disappear any second. When she finished, Rumplestinskin stood up straight and looked at the contract to verify that the signature was actually there, before he spoke. _

"_Zoe, if you will?" He handed me the wand and I grabbed it. I knew exactly what to do. With a flicker of my wrist, Cinderella was covered in a grey haze that instantly vanished, revealing her in a light-blue fancy dress, white globs, a necklace, and a small silver crown to rest upon her blond, tidy-placed hair. Cinderella stared at herself up and down in absolute disbelief, a wide smile drawn on her face, before her gaze fixed on the glass shoes I left in front of her, and she gave me a confused glance. _

"_Glass?" She asked. _

"_Every story needs a memorable detail," I said and smiled. "Let's see how they fit, shall we?" _

_Cinderella lifted her long dress a little bit to help her place her feet in the shoes. "Now you have a good time," Rumple added. "But remember to watch the clock."_

* * *

"We haven't had a real conversation yet," An unexpected voice makes me almost jump, and I turn around to see that it comes from the blond teenager, who is leaning against a tree trunk. After leaving Bae's cave, I looked for a proper tree and slept there through the night, trying as hard as I could to get comfortable. Then, when the morning arrived, I started walking through the island in hopes of getting to know it better.

"Okay, what do you want to talk about?" I reply calmly, succeeding in not showing him how much his sudden appearance scared me.

"Your magic." Pan starts pacing in front of me as he speaks, the excitement clear in his eyes. "I want to know more about it."

I raise an eyebrow. "And what makes you so interested about it?" I say, looking at him wearily, as if he were a cat about to jump.

"You'll find out soon enough," he stops walking when he is only inches away from me. "I promise."

"Well, if you don't tell me then you just won't know about my magic," I say, my tone matter-of-fact.

"That's where you are wrong," he whispers in my ear before backing away and starting to pace in front of me again. "You can either tell me, or you will have to show me." He gives me a charming, evil smirk, to which I respond with a confused look.

_What on earth is he talking about?_

He is suddenly in front of me again, and he grabs my wrist with a strong, almost painful grip. I blink once, and then we are somewhere else. This place is like Bae's cave, only darker and much bigger. Here, the air seems to be _red, _and I can almost smell death.

I immediately pull my wrist out of his grip and start to back away.

* * *

"_You knew you where going to end up here," I stated. "And you still went to meet Cinderella, anyway, which means you are exactly where you want to be."_

_Rumplestinskin was front of me, the cell bars separating us. After I heard he had been captured by Snow White and James, I went straight to see him. He clapped enthusiastically when he saw I had gotten it right, his grin wide and confident as always._

"_You are such a smart girl," he complimented me and I smiled smugly at him. _

_"The only thing I don't know is, why? Why be trapped?" _

"It's better if I keep you in the dark,_" he assured me. "I promise."_

* * *

"Where the hell are we?" I demand when there is finally a safe distance between me and the immortal teenager. My head starts turning around wearily as I sense the overwhelming amount of dark magic in this cave, almost as dark as Pan's magic is.

"Dark Hollow," he replies, grinning at me. "My shadow's home."

It is then when I feel the familiar odd breeze against my skin, and in a moment, three shadows appear in front of me. My gaze immediately goes to where Pan was standing, but he appears to be gone.

_That bastard. _

I realize now what his plan is. He is forcing me to show him how my magic works by making me fight against his shadows. I know that, though I can't see him, he is still here somehow, probably watching me with that aggravating smirk of his.

The three shadows start flying over and around me, preparing to strike. As I carefully observe their movements, I notice that one of them is controlling the other two. This means that two of them are only puppets, so I only have to focuse on killing the real shadow and defending myself from the rest. But...how do you kill something that is already dead?

Without a warning, one of the shadow's puppets places its hands against my chest, pulling me upwards with it until my back hits a tree trunk. I feel it trying to rip my shadow out, causing a sense of emptiness inside me and I deep, unbearable pain.

_Pan want's magic? Then he'll have it. _

I make a grey wave of magic radiate off my entire body, causing the shadow to release me as it is thrown backwards with full force. I land on my feet just in time for the other puppet shadow to try to throw itself at me, and though my ankles sting from the fall, I manage to dodge it by using my magic to jump over it with an agile movement.

The only way to win this fight, I notice, is by handling the real shadow. The one which brought me to Neverland in the first place.

Once I'm on the ground again, my determined eyes fix on the creature, and with a wave of my hand I start controlling the branches of one of the bare trees inside the cave. I make them reach out and hold the shadow, tying it against the tree trunk almost like actual ropes. The shadow immediately starts fighting the branches around it, squirming and writhing to be released.

When I'm about to make the branches squeeze it harder against the tree trunk, one of the puppet shadows pushes me with full force, making my back hit a tree trunk hard.

I fall to the ground, my aching body distracting me just long enough to forget about the main shadow, causing the branches around its body to stop being controlled by my magic and to release it. I force myself to stand up again before they can attack me, my body now facing the three shadows.

The puppet shadows may not be the real enemy, though they do distract me quite a lot. Maybe the real shadow can't be killed, but the other two sure as hell can.

I make a grey wave of magic radiate off my body just in time for a puppet shadow to throw itself at me, forcing the three shadows to be thrown backwards. The two puppet shadows dissappear out of thin air, immediately upon their backs slamming into tree trunks, finally leaving me only with the real shadow. The main threat.

It tries to grab my wrist, but I transport myself away from it, appearing on the other side of the cave. As the shadow flies over me again, my gaze fixes on the cracks on the roof of the cave. The cracks appear to be forming a circle, the approximate size of a giant rock.

An idea immediately lights in my mind, and I start throwing fireballs at the shadow, succesfully making it fly below the circle on the roof. When it is positioned right where I want it to, I pound the floor with my foot, my magic forcing the circle on the roof to fall off. When it hits the ground, a wave of dust and dirt covers the cave, blocking my sight for a moment. I extend my arms to make the wave disappear, revealing the shadow.

The lower half of it's body is trapped under the giant rock which just fell from the roof whilst the other half is trying as hard as it can to release itself, attempting unsuccesfully to fly upwards. The hole on the roof allows light to enter the cave, iluminating the dark place and giving me a better view of the shadow's angry, violent eyes.

_I did it. I won. _

It is then when I hear a slow clap, and I turn my head to see that Pan has reappeared beside me, anouncing his presence. I immediately glare at him.

"Impresive, Zoe," he says. "You know, I've visited the Enchanted forest more times that you could count. I have lived for centuries. And, in that time, I have never seen anyone use your kind of magic before." Pan then uses his own magic to lift the rock and fit it back to it's original position, breifly nodding at the shadow before it flies away and gives me what I made out as one last, vengeful glance.

"But you know what type of magic it is anyway," I state, and Pan nods at this. The boy then starts walking around me, and I resist the urge to follow his movements with my eyes, managing to leave my head still.

"Most practicers of magic can only control dark or light magic. The ones who do manage to use both still can't use the two of them at the same time," he starts. "The grey waves that radiated off you, however, contained a mix of dark and light magic."

Pan seems way too eager to tell me what he has just discovered, though I already knew of this information about my magic because of Rumple.

"Now," he stops pacing when he is in front of me. "Both light and dark magic have different strenghts the other type of magic doesn't have. So, if you were to join them, the result would be a magic twice as powerful."

He then leers at me, and I realize that having him know about my magic isn't a good thing at all. He is so close to me that I can feel his cold breath, and every limb of my body tells me to get away from him, away from his twisted magic as fast as I possibly can.

"That's why you are so special, Zoe." He gently passes his hand over my cheek, and I have to hold back a cringe. "Like I said before, you are one-of-a-kind."

I move my head slightly to my right, making his hand fall off at his side. He sighs at my reaction.

"Why?" I ask, my voice way softer than I ment it to be. "What does my magic have to do with you keeping me here?"

"Because I need you, Zoe," he replies, his bare answer only making my frustration increase.

"And now that I know so much about your magic." He places his hand on my waist, bringing me closer to him. "It only makes me want to keep you more."

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter a looot, because it has been the most difficult to write so far. Any reviews on this chapter? What do you think about Zoe's magic?**

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	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own Once Upon a Time**

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Chapter 5: Lost

"Good to see you Baelfire," Pan says casually as he walks towards us, and Bae places himself protectively infront of me, as if the meager weapon he is holding could somehow protect me from the immortal teenager. "You arrived just in time to join the celebration." After I defeted his shadows, Pan transported us to his camp, where the Lost Boys still continue to dance cheerfully around a bonfire. The sky has already turned deep, inky black, contrasting sharply with the brightness of the predatory fire. Bae had arrived a few minutes after that and emerged from the trees armed with nothing more than a crossbow.

"We are not joining anything," Bae states, determination heavy in his voice. "We are leaving." He keeps his crossbow pointed at Pan, the arrow resting carefully in its place, but the blond doesn't seem worried in the slighest. In fact, he seems oddly clam.

"No, you are not." Pan assures, giving a step towards us that only makes Bae's grip on his crossbow become even stronger.

"And why is that?" Bae says confidently, not a tint of fear in his voice. It's amazing how much he has changed sense I last saw him. Not only does he physically look older, but he's defintely more mature. The taught years in this island have changed him, made him stronger.

He shrugs innocently. "Because I want you to stay."

It is then, almost without warning, when Bae releases the arrow, and it flies directly towards Pan. He, however, stops it just before it can pierce his chest, grabbing it with his right hand. A smirk immediately draws on his face, and he drops the arrow beside him as though it was nothing but a harmless toy before making Bae's crossbow dissappear out of thin air with only a wave of his hand.

"But you just got here." Pan tilts his head innocently, ignoring Bae's shocked expression. "Maybe some music will get you on your feet." He places his pipe against his lips, and starts playing it, the melodious music tune radiating off the instrument.

It is then when my head starts aching, a strange sort of dizzyness overwhelming me and blurrying my view. I place my hand on the nearest tree trunk to support myself as I feel the magic forcing itself into my body, impulsing me to move, to _dance. _But then, thankfully, I feel my magic reacting to this by creating a shield around me, something like and internal invisible barrier. With this, the dizzyness stops and I'm back to normal. Bae, however, immediately starts walking towards the bonfire.

"Bae, what are you doing?" I ask him wearily, but he doesn't seem to hear me. He keeps walking until he reaches the boys who are dancing around the bonfire, and to my surprise, he actually _joins_ their circle. I only manage to stare at Bae in complete shock as he starts dancing like if he was having the time of his life and nothing else mattered. Like those kids are his best friends.

I glare at Pan, who has only now stopped playing his pipe to look at me curiously. "What in hell did you do to him?"

"I'm surprised it din't work on you," he raises an eyebrow at me, ignoring my question completely. "Can't you hear the music?"

"Of course I can, I'm not deaf," I say, though I'm sure that, feeling the magic radiating off the pipe, Pan must have meant something else entirely.

He chuckles at my answer. "So you can indeed hear the music, but it can't control you," he states. "Interesting." It's not actually; my powers simply protect me from the pipe's magic. It really isn't that complicated.

"You see, Zoe," he continues. "This pipe can only be heard by certain people."

"What kind of people?" I ask cautiously. I want to know but I feel anxious about his answer.

"The ones who feel unloved. Those who feel lost. This is why you can hear it, isn't it?" He grins when he feels my body tense at that, my father and mother coming to mind without my approval. "Beneath all that power, you are nothing more than an unloved, lonely Lost Girl."

"Leave me alone," I demand without looking at him, my eyes focused on the boys dancing around the bonfire. Anger flares within me.

"I will." he succesfully makes me look at him by grabbing onto my wirst and holding it tight. "If you tell me what your story is."

This time it's my turn to raise an eyebrow. "My story." I repeat.

"Just tell me when I get it right," he grins again, his perfect teeth flashing in the darkness. "Let me guess; you were an orphan, abandoned, unloved by your parents-."

I close my eyes for a moment whilst I breath in, trying to handle the images that come flooding to mind with Pan's words. Against my will I start to visualize my mother's corpse, her empty eyes looking right through me without a single glimpse of light, her hair messy and coated with blood.

"There it is," he smirks at my reaction, and I feel a well of hate building within me at his mocking.. "You did have a painful childhood, didn't you?"

That's enough. I won't let him keep torturing me like this. Though it has been years since my mother's death, it still haunts me to this very day. I have nightmares about it every night, and almost everything reminds me of her. I've always tried, unsuccesfully of course, to shut the momories down somehow, because they are way too painful to bare. But the memories always stay, and I must continue to bare them.

"Guess you'll have to find about that on your own," I say as start walking away from the camp, unwilling to keep on with this conversation. Its when I'm out of sight that Pan appears in front of me, making me stop in my tracks.

"Where do you think you are going, Zoe?" he tilts his head slightly to the side, his eyes as dark as night.

"Away from you," I reply simply before dodging Pan and continuing my walk. I try to keep my strides even so that he can't read my emotions.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," I hear him warn from behind, his voice making me stop and turn to look at him, the curiosity being too much to bare.

"And why is that?" I ask impatiently, already starting to get tired of him and his games. He suddenly is only inches away from me, and I curse myself when I give a small step back out of instinct, just like the first time I met him.

"Because of Baelfire, of course," he says, like I'm missing the obvious. Of course I wasn't just going to leave him there. I only wanted to get away from Pan, even if I knew it would only be for a moment, and then I would've came back for Bae after the effect of the pipe had gone off.

"You know, when the Lost Boys are under the effect of the pipe, I control exactly for how long they will dance. They can only do it for a few minutes, or hours, or days, if I feel like it." He walks even closer to me, causing me to give a few steps back as he approches closer and closer. "But, though while dancing they don't feel anything but joy, that doesn't mean they won't feel their bleeding feet and aching body when they wake up from the spell. That is, if I leave them dancing long enough."

My back hits a tree trunk, preventing me from backing away any further from this bloody demon. He stops in front of me, far too close to me for my liking. The hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

That was a threat. It clearly was.

"What do you mean with that?" I ask cautiously, knowing that whatever the answer is, it can't be good.

Pan simply chuckles. "Let's just say Baelfire won't have a very pleasant time if you leave camp without permission."

"Then I will get him out of here, to a place where he is safe." I could just transport the boy back to his cave, and Pan wouldn't know where to find him.

"Don't you get it? Even if you did manage to make him get away from camp, he would still be trapped in the island, and I would eventually find him." I hate to admit it, but he is right. Pan hasn't found Bae's cave yet, but all he needs is a slip from one of the two of us to do so. It wouldn't take long.

No, I can't let him do that to Bae. He seems to have being leaving him alone until I arrived, which means he only wants Bae to get to me. That poor boy has already gone through too much, and he has nothing to do with my issues with Pan.

I sigh. "Then how about we make a deal? I stop trying to escape from your camp, and you let him get back to his cave without bothering him again."

I promised Bae I would help him escape, and I seriously don't know how will I do that now that I've willingly accepted the fact that Pan will be breathing down my neck every second because of our deal. But finding a way to get out of here will take a long time, and I cant just expose him to a search party for that long. His safety comes first.

Pan smirks, his eyes grinning enthusiastically. The thought about me staying with him clearly makes him more than happy, almost dangerously so.

"Deal." He gets even closer to me, our bodies almost touching with his eyes darker than they have ever been. "Don't you get it, Zoe? Step by step, you are starting to belong to me. And it will only be a matter of time until you are trully, and completely, mine."

* * *

**As always, please review, follow, and favorite my story :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own Once Upon A Time**

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Chapter 6: Just starting

_I walked into the kitchen to find my father sitting on his usual chair in front of the rectangular wooden table whilst he ate his breakfast. As his elbow moved to cut through a piece of egg, his elbow slipped against the table's surface, accidentally pushing his cup of wine fall off the edge. As I saw the cup falling to the floor, my instincts immediately took over, and without a second thought I used my magic to make the cup stay floating in the air before lifting it back to it's original position._

_My father turned his head over his shoulder to look at me, his eyes wide open with a mix of surprise and anger._

_"Stop it! I told you never to do that! Don't you even listen to me?!" The man yelled frantically at me as he arose from his chair. His terrifying fury forced me to give a few steps back, my heart pounding almost painfully against my chest. He always got really mad when I used magic infront of him, somehow unable to understand that I would've stopped if I only could._

_"I'm so sorry, I really can't help it," I said in a begging voice, praying for him to forgive me._

_"How can it be possible that you can't control it? I can control my actions just fine, and I defintely can control if I do or dont to this..." He walked towards me with an expresion that let me know what was coming a second before it happened. In a moment his fist had slammed hard against my stomach, and then immediately on my face, making me fall to the ground._

_"That's enough, Sebastian! Leave the poor girl alone!" My mother joined in as she entered the room. It is then when I felt the wound that had formed on my cheek start to heal, and I saw my father's enraged eyes fix upon me._

_"Father, I-" I started, trying to finally convince him that I really had no control over my magic._

_"There! She's doing it again!" He pointed at me, and I instinctively placed my hand on my cheek, terrified when I realized the wound was no longer there._

_"This is not her fault, and you know it." My mother defended me, trying to keep her voice calm though struggling to hide her anger at his bahavior. "So stop treating her like she isn't a human being."_

_"I do that because she isn't! She is a monster, Lily! That's what she is!" My father stated, his dark eyes locked on mine._

_"Please stop," I whispered through the tears already beggining to form in the corners of my eyes, though the man standing in front of me simply ignored me._

_"We never should've kept her. We should've just left you to the wolves!" He continued, and I knew by the determination in his voice that he trully meant what he said. Every last bit of it._

_"Stop!" I screamed, the frustration and anger suddenly far too much to bare. Without me even trying, a grey wave of magic then radiated off my body, causing my father and mother to both be thrown backwards. I saw my father's back slam agaisnt the wall behind him, and he hissed painfully at the contact. I immediately stood up and ran towards him, the worry and guilt overwhelming me. As I approached, I gently placed my hand on the man's shoulder, crouching next to him so as to be at his eye level._

_"Father, are you-" I started, but he immediately cut me off._

_"Get away from me, you demonic monster!" He moved his shoulder slightly to make my hand fall limply at my side, and I could see the fear and anger flashing intensely in his eyes. But then, as his face turned to his right, his features suddenly softened completely and his eyes filled wih something that I'd never seen in them before, never thought I'd ever see...pain. I followed them, my own widening in shock at the sight of my mother's lifeless body. There was an enormous spot of blood on her head and, by her position, I knew that her skull must have hit the pointed edge of the wooden table, cracking it and killing her instantly._

_My father was the first one to react by crawling towards her body, sitting down on the floor and then holding her gently to his chest, crying softly. I only managed to slowly stand up behind him, and stayed standing there as I stared down at my mother's wide, open eyes, completely and utterly empty, the light that had once been there long gone and never to return._

_"You did this to her!" My father accused, his eyes never leaving my mother even as his voice spit venom in my direction._

_"I...I didn't. I couldn't have," I tried to convince myself, though deep down I knew my father was right. I killed my own mother. Tears started to fall from my eyes, but I didn't try to wipe them off my cheeks. I didn't care if my father saw me cry anymore. Even if she wasn't my real mother, she was the only person in my entire life who had always supported me, who had always accepted me for who I was. I loved her more than anything, and now she was gone because of me. Because of my magic._

_"I-it was an accident," I managed to make out through the tears. The silence that came next was, I thought back then, the most terrifying moment of my life. I imagined all the horrible things my father could do to me, and it sent a wave of fear through my body in the form of a shiver. But the worse part of it all was that, for the first time, I felt like I trully deserved his punishment._

_"I want you to leave, Zoe," He finally spoke up, his tone as serious as it had ever been. "Leave, and don't ever come back."_

_"But-but where will I go?" I asked, a glimpse of desperation in my voice. The mere idea of living in the streets scared me more than anything, since back then I was only a six-year-old and I had no idea of how to defend myself, let alone use my magic._

_"I don't care. Just get out of here before I kill you." I knew that my father didn't love me, but I never imagined that he would ever say that to me. He had always treated me like I was different because of my magic, always hitting me when my mother wasn't there to protect me. I had always felt like my mother didn't love him, though she would never admit it. I just never understood why she didn't leave him when we would've been so much better off just the two of us. Maybe it was because of money, but I wasn't sure. The last few minutes had happened so fast, and the shock of it all was still overwhelming me._

_"I said, GET OUT!" He yelled when I didn't move. I shook my head, as if trying to wake up from a dream. _

_This couldn't be real, this couldn't be happening. _

_I finally ran towards the door, turned the handle, and sprinted out of the house as fast as I could. The moment I walked through that door was the moment that I left everything behind; my possessions, my home, my family._

_It was all ripped away from me, and I knew I would never get it back._

* * *

I can't stop thinking about my past. I still find myself having terrifying nightmares about my mother, my years in the streets and my life in Rumple's castle showing up every single night. They make me wake up screaming, my face invaded with tears that wont stop coming, and after that they wont let me go back to sleep again.

This was one of those nights.

My eyes slam opened, my breathing fast as my heart pounds painfully against my chest. The image of my mother's dead body is still there on the other side of my eyelids, and I have to force it to go away to a place in my mind where I can't longer find it.

I turn my head to the side to see Pan lying next to me, deep in sleep, the covers hiding the lower half of his body. He looks so peaceful, so innocent; I can't help but think of an angel. I have to hold back a laugh at the thought, knowing that Pan is the complete opposite to such creature.

Ever sense Pan had threatened me with hurting Bae, he haven't left me alone, knowing that our deal forbade me from doing anything about it.

It didn't take long for Pan to make me sleep in the same bed as he for, when I refused, he simply transported me out of his tree house, to a place of the island that seemed quite familiar.

"Do you recognize this place?" He had asked, clearly already knowing what my answer would be. We were standing right outside of Bae's cave, an act that spoke for a lot of words. The bloody teenager knew where the cave was all along, and he could rip Bae away from it whenever he pleased. The only way to stop this, of course, was by doing whatever he desires.

"Guess I was waiting for the right moment. And I still am," He replied when I asked him why, even knowing about this for so many years before I arrived to the island, he hadn't taken Bae back to camp.

It seemed back then Pan couldn't care less if the boy was or wasn't around, but everything changed when I got stuck here in Neverland. Now Bae has a clear purpose for him, and that is to act as the object he can constantly threaten me with.

I can't risk having him hurt Bae. He was like a brother to me...still is, actually. He saved my life when I met Rumple, who back then was only The Dark One to me, nothing else. When I arrived to this bloody island, my goal had been to find a way to escape as fast as I could, though when I reunited with Bae and found out he was stuck here too, protecting him seemed way more important of an objective.

It has been around two months since Pan and I made the deal, but it already seems like ages.

Two months without seeing Bae, not even a single visit. I had planned to slip away from Pan many times, but he just hasn't let me. He won't leave me alone for even a second, and in one of those rare moments when I find the perfect timing to leave, I'm afraid he will find out and make Bae pay for my one feeble mistake.

So I have to bare his absence, even if it kills me. I hadn't seen him in years, and now that he's finally back, he has to be taking away from me again by the same demon keeping me here.

It's just not fair.

As I see Pan sleeping, looking like he doesn't have one problem in the world, I am tempted to throw a fireball at him and end this once and for all.

But that won't happen. I can't allow it to happen.

Even if I am the most powerful practicer of magic in the Enchanted Forest (after Rumplestinskin, of course) that doesn't mean I can overpower Pan. I have thought about fighting him a thousand times, but I end up telling myself I will definitely lose the attempt.

I know this because, in a manner of speaking, it all comes down to the fact that he is immortal, and I'm not. It's as simple as that. It doesn't matter how rare and powerful my magic is –this boy can't be killed. So fighting him will only end up getting _me _killed in the end, which is why I have to constantly remind myself not to do anything stupid. But, as the days go by, that voice inside my head seems to be becoming weaker and weaker, to the point in which I'm afraid it might eventually disappear. When it's gone, what else will keep me from fighting him? Nothing at all.

And that can't be good; Not for me, and definitely not for Bae.

I'm the only thing keeping him alive right now, so I can't afford to fight Pan when my brother's life is on the line.

With this thought invading my mind, I have to force my body to turn around and walk towards the door of the tree house, leaving the teenager behind me unharmed. The door cringes opened, and my head immediately turns over my shoulder to verify if Pan is indeed still asleep.

His body hasn't moved, though he could easily be pretending just to see if I'll make a run for it. Probably looking for an excuse to hurt Bae.

Well, I won't give him the satisfaction.

Leaving the door ajar, I seat on the border of the wooden floor just following the entrance of the tree house, leaving my legs dangling in the air. The sky is dark, though the stars allow me to see the trees dancing all around me in the breeze.

It's so quiet it almost seems peaceful.

I remember the days when I used to hear the Lost boys cry through the nights, the noise making me want to hit my head against a rock just to stop it. But I've gotten used to it to the point that I can't even hear them now. Maybe there's a part of my mind that was successful in shutting the voices down, pushing them away, turing it all out. If that's the case, then I'm more than grateful for it.

I hear the door cringe again, and I don't even glance back at Pan. I feel him seat down beside me, dangerously close, imitating my position, but I refuse to give him any of my attention.

"Having nightmares again, love?" I purse my lips to stop myself from replying. He knows I hate it when he calls me 'love', which might as well be the reason why he keeps using the bloody word so often.

"Hey," he continues, demanding my attention by grabbing my wrist. His grip as strong and painful as always.

"What." I snap bitterly at him, trying unsuccessfully to keep the anger from my voice.

As far as I am concerned, authentic emotions are a liability. They always come back to bite you. My poker face has served me well over the years, and on many occasions it has saved my life.

But, though I was really good at hiding them back in The Enchanted forest, I seem to have lost the talent when it comes to Pan. I find the anger overwhelming me every time I see him –let alone when he talks to me –his voice a constant, unbearable reminder me that I'm stuck here because of him, making it harder and harder to stop myself from slamming his pretty face in with my fist.

It's all because of him.

He smirks at my reaction, grinning, as always enjoying how much he gets under my skin. I'm starting to think that, the more I hate him, the happier and smugger he becomes.

"Can't you just leave me alone for a second?" I say without bothering to hide my annoyance.

He chuckles at that, amused by my intense amount of frustration. "I can't imagine how hard it must be for you." He pauses for a moment, probably hoping for me to ask what he means, but when my lips fail to move, he continues, "To have given up your freedom, just so that a boy you hadn't seen for years remained unharmed. Tell me, was he really worth all that trouble?"

"Every bit of it." I reply without hesitation, my eyes locked onto Pan's like daggers. I love Bae like a brother, therefore, I don't regret the deal in the slightest. If I could go back, I would still make the same decision over and over again. It's my duty to protect him.

"Well then, you'll just have to put up with it. You should get some sleep now; you will need your strength for what I have planned for you tomorrow."

"And what's that?"

And there's that slithery smirk from Pan again. "Only the beginning."

* * *

**Hey guys! So what do you think about Zoe's back story? I will continue writting about her years living in the streets, failing to control her magic, and then you will find out how she met Rumple :0**

**Now, please review! Any guesses? Feedback? Remember the more reviews my chapters have, the faster I update ;) **


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own Once Upon a Time**

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Chapter 7: Right in the middle

"Catch," Pan orders before throwing me an apple. I easily do as I'm told, glancing at it curiously, and then locking my eyes with his again.

"What is this for?"

"Today begins your training to become a Lost Girl. We are starting with a kind of game, a really fun game." He then shows me a finely-carved wooden crossbow, and I swallow hard at his next words. "I call it target practice."

Pan clearly wants to play this game so he can know my abilities, so he can know what his new possession is capable of doing. But should I be worried if he finds out how good I am with the bow? He couldn't want me more than he already does, and target practice actually sounds kind of fun.

"What's that?" I asks cautiously, referring to the black liquid in a flask he is now dipping the point of the arrow into.

"Dream Shade," he replies, preparing the crossbow and delicately placing the arrow on it. I raise an eyebrow at that but say nothing, already knowing that Pan has creative ways of making his games more interesting. But, surprisingly, I actually kind of like his idea; it gives the game a spicier taste. "It's a nasty poison. Felix! Get over here."

He then offers me the crossbow and, with a dramatic roll of my eyes, I take it. He doesn't know how much I miss shooting. Pan hands the apple to Felix, who gives a few steps back and then places the fruit on his head. I already know what Pan expects me to do, and I'm sort of looking forward to it.

I was never going to get along with Felix. That much was made clear after our first encounter, when he dragged me towards Pan so that I could meet him. I've been trying my best to avoid him for the past two months, though without much success. We stay at opposite corners of the camp, but even then we find ourselves constantly exchanging icy glares.

Pan seems to be aware of this, though he hasn't done much to stop it other than starting conversation to distract me. I'm not entirely sure if he understands how much we dislike each other. Maybe he underestimates it and thinks it would never actually come down to anything serious, or if there's a sadistic part of him that actually wants our hatred to grow with time, ending up in the two of us fighting each other to death. When it comes to Pan, I wouldn't be surprised. He must've put that apple on Felix's head because he knew the way I felt, and it's why it sends a thrill of excitement through me that he is the one standing there, more than it would were anybody else my target.

"Shoot! Shoot! Shoot! Shoot!" The Lost Boys shout around us in coordination.

"You won't hit him," says Pan. _Oh, I'm sure I won't._ "Go on. Its exhilarating."

Felix places the apple on his head and gives me a daring look, which tempts me even more to do what his leader is telling me to. Pan then silences the crowd with a movement of his hand, and they all fall quiet at the same time.

I glare at Pan, and then arrage the crossbow so that it's pointing in Felix's direction. He is so close, such an easy target, I only have to hold the crossbow in it's position for a quarter of a second before releasing the arrow. I then lower the crossbow so as to see how the arrow has landed exactly in the middle of the apple, piercing it against a tree trunk behind Felix.

I glance at a smirking Pan, who is wearing a disarming grin and a broad smile merged into one.

"Didn't know you could handle a crossbow so well." I give the object back to him, and I can't help but smirk too. Pan doesn't even bother to hide how pleased he is. I know how to defend myself without magic, though he hasn't seen anything yet. This was way too easy compared to what I can really do. He gives a step closer to me and gently passes the back of his hand over my cheek. "It's amazing how you keep surprising me, Zoe."

I catch Felix glaring at me, and I can't resist the urge to do the same.

I hate Pan way more than Felix, however, unless I'm planning on entering a suicide mission, I know I can't fight Pan. But when it comes to Felix...well, that's different. I've been in the streets, homeless, for a long time when I was younger, so I pretty much know how to fight without my magic if I need to.

So I've been wondering for far too long if I can take Felix down, though I've managed to ignore the temptation of trying it out because I don't know which side Pan would take if the fight were to actually happen. On one hand, I am his precious girl with the rare gift of having a mix or dark and light magic –which he says he will need eventually –but Felix is his second in command and, although he has no magic and is far less useful than I am, at least he is extremely loyal to Pan.

But, as the days go by, I find myself caring less and less about what Pan would think if I beat Felix up.

"I have to go now," Pan whispers in my ear. "I got some business to attend." He releases me and backs away, walking towards his second-in-command and saying something to him I can't quite catch before disappearing into the trees. I release a breath I hadn't even realized I had been holding, and shaking out the tension in my muscles, walk towards an edge of the camp. Pan is leaving me _alone _for the first time since we made our deal, and I can't see a better moment to visit Bae.

Bae. I miss the boy so much it actually hurts, and I'm worried that if I don't see him soon he might do something stupid like show up in camp in an attempt to rescue me like he did before.

I then see Felix sauntering towards me, stopping where he could reach and touch me if he wanted to.

"Pan told me to look after you while he is away," he says with his usual monotonous voice. "So just do the two of us a favor and don't try to escape."

"Was that an order or a request?" I ask taunting, my tone playful.

Felix sighs as if he is already tired of me, though I can tell he not going to let this go.

"You can take it the way you want. Is one of the few things you are still free to do these days...thinking for yourself. Enjoy it while you can, because that ability will be far gone when Pan is done with you."

I laugh bitterly at that. I can't help myself. "You think I will become, what? Pan's _puppet_?"

"Well, that's exactly what he wants; to have you and your precious power under his grip to do as he pleases." Felix walks closer to me, but I stay standing where I am, refusing to back down even as his breath sends a shiver of disgust up my spine. "And trust me when I tell you, Peter Pan never fails."

"There's a first time for everything," I challenge. I know I'm right. I follow no ones orders but my own, and Pan will never succeed in taking that away from me, but the intensity in Felix's eyes makes me doubt myself the slightest bit. "He won't mold me into a weapon."

"We'll see," is all Felix says, but it's enough to send another shiver up my spine. This one out of fear.

"We don't all turn up like you, Felix." I snap, venom in every word. That makes Felix stutter.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, you know. The way Pan controls everything you do, and you are so broken in the inside that either you don't see it or, worse, you don't even care." I know I hit a nerve when Felix comes dangerously close to me, his smirk transformed into a straight line.

"You have to know that, if you weren't under Pan's protection..." he places his hands around my neck, and this time without fear, I let him. I know that as much as he wants to he can't squeeze it, and that can be more frustrating than any of my witty comebacks could ever be. "I wouldn't hesitate to crack that pretty neck of yours."

"But you'll never have the chance, will you?" I take a few steps back without losing his gaze, making his hands fall numbly at his sides. "And it's all because of your precious leader."

"Even if I did it, Pan would never hurt me." He reassures me, though there's an edge in his voice he can't quite hide, and that only makes my smirk widen.

"Are you completely sure of that? Because you seem really worried that I will escape from the camp. You know what? Maybe I will do it just to see him spill some blood, use you as an example to make the others realize who he really is." I'm just bluffing, of course, because escaping would break my deal with Pan. And then Bae would be in danger again. But Felix doens't know that. "He doesn't care about any of his Lost Boys, and that includes you."

"Shut up! Just shut up!" He raises his voice, which calls every Lost Boy's attention. After a few seconds, they have already gathered in a circle around us, hoping to be witnesses of how this will play out. "You will stay right here under my supervision."

"Or what? What will you do, Felix? Hurt me?" I know I'm getting to him now, and the anger flashing intensely in his eyes should make me stop, but I can't. Because Pan is clearly not an option, and Felix is the second in line to release my anger at. Back in the Enchanted Forest, I used to be known for my ability to get inside people's heads, but I only went there to amuse myself. Pan has always been extremely hard to read, but Felix is an open book.

"I could do it," he says, and I know but the determined tone in his voice that he is not just bluffing anymore. He means it. "Pan would hardly blame me for that if it was the only way to stop you."

"Well then, if you really are so sure you can take me down, prove it." I challenge.

"With pleasure." Felix then pushes me towards the nearest tree trunk, and I purse my lips to hold back a hiss of pain from the impact. His knife is already against my thoat, and his eyes are filled with hatred and anger like I've never seen before. He slices it gently, forming a shallow, though large cut that makes me close my eyes for a second to help me deal with the pain. I hear the Lost Boys gasp in surprise.

_Good. Let them see Felix for who he really is. _

"Not so smug now, huh?" He whispers in my ear, his head so close to mine I can feel his cool breath against me. It is then when I can't stand it anymore, which leads me to reach out for his knife and grab it so fast he can only stare at me in shock as I bury it into his chest, in a place I know he won't die but it will still hurt like hell.

He backs down, his eyes wide-opened in surprise, and then quivers and moans loudly in pain. "You son of a bitc-" He starts calling me offensive names as he gets down on his knees, the pain making it impossible for him to remain standing. My head turns to the Lost Boys, who look as shocked as Felix was a few seconds ago and are actually backing away now instead of helping Pan's second-in-command.

Felix grips the knife and drags it out of his skin, dropping it on the floor with a loud hiss of pain. If I don't take off now, I never will. So, taking a deep breath, I force my body to turn around and run away from the camp, knowing that if I stayed there for one more second then things would've gotten worse. Much worse.

As I keep on running, all I can think about is how would Pan react when he find out about this.

No good, I take it.

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**Hey guys! I hoped you liked this chapter :) Now pleeease review!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own Once Upon a Time**

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Chapter 8: Part of the soul

If I stop running, even just for a moment, I know Felix will try to get back at me, and that will only make things worse than they already are. So, even if it means I'm breaking my deal with Pan, I won't return to the camp. At least not until a few days, when things have calmed down a little bit and I've had time to think things over. Pan will definitely find me as soon as he is back, though, and I hope he can understand why I did this. Because I'm more than screwed if he can't.

My first instinct was to run towards Bae's cave, but when I realized where I was headed, I immediately changed direction. Pan will already be furious with me for hurting his second-in-command, and if he finds out I visited Bae too, he will definitely throw me to the mermaids. Besides, it's a little bit suspecious to disappear from the Lost Boys in the exact same place that they were following me last time, and the last thing I need is for them to find out where Bae's cave is. It's the only place where he can be safe.

I stop in my tracks, and with a wave of my hand the Lost Boys stop running and crumple to the ground in unision. If I have nowhere in mind to run to, a sleeping spell can't hurt. I give one last glance at their bodies before casually walking away, not wanting to be here when they eventually wake up.

* * *

_I was eight years old when I met Rumple. By then I had lived two years in the streets; stealing, fighting, and running. But I'm not ashamed to say I became quite good at it. I met a group of good friends who were in the same conditions I was in, and together we were expert thieves. We never stayed in the same town for too long, and we spent our days breaking into houses and grabbing as much as we could. Before I knew it they had turned into the closest thing I had to a family, and as long as they were in it, I loved my new life._

_They all knew about my magic, but they weren't afraid of it. In fact, they wanted to help me control it, claiming that I could be the gang's 'secret weapon'. I almost jumped when they told me the idea, the excitement flowing through my veins as thick as my own blood. I was finally being accepted for who I really was, and it was a feeling I could get used to. Since none of them knew a thing about magic, they couldn't do much to help no matter how much they wanted to, but I had sorted out a few things on my own._

_I could succesfully prevent it from bubbling up whenever I got upset or angry, and I could also transport myself and my friends to different places. Nothing too far, of course, but the ability was still useful for whenever the king's guards would show up and we would have to leave the house quickly._

_I guess it was during those two years when I became most of who I am now. For once, I stopped being that weak girl who didn't know how to defend herself. Now I was good at shooting with a bow, and fighting with and without weapons. Life finally seemed to be kind of great._

_But the truth is, we were not one of those gangs who got into a house hoping no one was there, took only what they needed, got in and out. We were quite the opposite, actually. We expected people to be at the houses we were breaking into, so they could see how all of their possessions were being ripped away from them, knowing there was nothing they could do to stop it. We were all angry, wanting to make innocent people pay for what our parents had done with us. I knew it, and I was more than okay with it. I wanted things to stay the way they were._

_But things quickly began to get out of hand. The gang started not only to tie up the house residents while we were stealing from them, but soon they started to hurt them too. It got to the point where we were murdering these people in cold blood; including their innocent kids or even their babies, if they were any. That's when I got out, deciding I would be better off alone._

_It became sort of lonely, but my thirst for blood only got so far. I wasn't like them. Not yet, anyway._

_So I kept travelling on my own from town to town, witnessing as child after child was dragged from their home and family and forced to fight in the Ogres War. A few months after the war ended, though, I stopped in this particular town. It seemed quite normal to me, but I had no idea that that certain place was were The Dark One lived._

* * *

"I can't leave you alone for a second, can I?" I don't even blink at the smug teenager's words, already having known for hours that he would show up eventually.

"Not when you have Felix as your second-in-command."

He chuckles at that, his voice smooth and surprisingly calm. "I don't think he was the only one who caused this." I glance at him carefully as he starts stalking towards me, looking for any hint of anger but finding none. "I know you, love. I know how you enjoy pushing people, making their own emotions become their downfall. It's an ability I've always admired about you. One that shows how the two of us are very much alike, actually."

"We are _nothing _alike." I snap at him. "And you don't even know who I was before I arrived to Neverland."

"That can be easily fixed." He then reveals his hand, which had been hiding behind his back throughout the entire ordeal, exposing a leather cuff. The dark magic radiating off it hits me with full force, and I take a few steps back out of shock. "Don't worry, you will end up telling me in time."

"What's that?" I ask wearily, already knowing that the answer wont be good.

"Why, it's a magical cuff. You see, when you arrived to Neverland, I was tempted to use it. But then I told myself that I didn't need this thing to break you, that I could do it on my own." I keep moving backwards as he approaches me, going as far away as I can until my back hits a tree trunk and I'm trapped. Pan's smirk only widens. "Well, after what happened with Felix today, I can't afford to wait much longer. I will have to use a slight short-cut."

"What do you mean with that?" His dark orbs are fixed on me, assessing me as always. He stops walking when he is only a few inches away from my body, and still smiling, places his free hand on the tree trunk, caging me in further.

"As long as you have this cuff on, it will prevent you from using your powers." His words send shivers up my spine, and I can already feel my magic threatening to go lose. Pan leans and whispers his next words in my ear, his cool breath and sultry voice making the hairs in the back of my neck stand on end. "There is one problem, though. The cuff has to be put on voluntarily."

"And why on earth do you think I would do that?"

"That's what the new deal is for," he says with his usual smug smile, and for a moment it's like I cant breathe anymore. Whatever this new deal is, I know it can't be good.

* * *

"Somebody stop her!" the man who's house I had just broken into called from behind. I kept on running without looking back, a bag of food hanging from my shoulder and my pockets stuffed to the brim, and I didn't stop even when the king's guards heard the man and went running after me. They were a lot faster than the man, which wasn't surprising due to him being fat and old, but they weren't as fast as I was. I kept pushing through the people who didn't have the brains to move away from me fast enough, running as fast as I could. Then, suddenly, I felt an incredibly expansive amount of dark magic in front of me, which made me stop dead in my tracks and forget my troubles as I gave a few steps backwards.

It only took me seconds to realize the magic was radiating from a man who was standing a few feet away from me. He was wearing a cloak with his hood up, hiding his face, though I sensed somehow he was looking at me. My eyes locked with his, and it was enough time lost to make the guards catch up with me and one grab me from behind. I wriggled and squirmed, trying as hard as I could to get out of the man's grip, but it was no use. I was just a little girl, and he was a lot stronger than I was.

"Let go of me, asshole," I snapped at him, though he only held me harder.

"Seems like we got ourselves a thief," said another guard, placing himself infront of me and smiling mockingly. "And a pretty famous one, I must say. Am I not right, Zoe Brook?" He showed me a paper with my face drawn on it, and the word 'thief' and 'reward' stuck out in black ink. I scoffed at him, which only made his smirk widen. "The king will be so pleased to see you."

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" The man I had seen before said as he walked towards us, pulling down his hood and revealing his crocodile skin. He eyed me curiously, already assesing everyone of my movements as if I were a fascinating creature for him to study.

"Dark One," the guard said as he turned to face the man, taking a few steps back. The other guards, except for the one who was holding me, did the same. They all seemed... afraid of him, almost. But unlike them, I was not. Feeling that kind of magic back then had only made me curious. I had heard stories about The Dark One before, and besides the one where he stopped the Ogres War, none of them were exactly good.

"This girl is a wellknown thief. We will take her to the king so he can decide her fate." I could see how the guard was trying hard to keep his voice from shaking, though without much success.

"Oh, come on," I laughed bitterly. "It was just some food. And he had a lot more. I didn't even scratch him. The guy needs to learn how to share."

"Doesn't matter," the guard said, and I could almost feel him sweating. "You are coming with us."

I chuckled at that. "I don't think so."

I then yanked myself out of the guard's grip, and used my free hand to snatch my knife from my belt, turned my body around, and then in one flowing movement reached my arm out and stabbed him in his chest. I immediately took the knife out of him and threw it at the guard who had spoken to me only a few seconds ago, making him fall dead to the ground, a bloody wound where his heart had been.

I then found myself facing at least five other guards, their swords unsheathed and pointing threateningly at me. But that, luckily, was when my magic came in. With a reflexive wave of my hand, their swords dissappeared out of thin air. I really don't know who was more shocked; the guards, or me. Their mouth's were wide open, and soon they'd started to back away from me until finally they turned and ran as if death himself was chasing them.

I fell to my knees then, focusing on keeping the tears from showing themselves as much while I continued to glance at the people who were standing at a safe distance from me, eyes wide and filled with fear. It was happening again. All over.

The man with the crocodile skin placed himself in front of me and offered me his scaly had, the dark magic radiating off of him with full force.

"What do you want?" I asked, not caring how innocent my voice sounded.

"I'm not sure if you are aware of this, dearie, but you have an incredible gift. One that I didn't believe existed."

"You mean my magic? I wouldn't exactly call it a gift," I said, remembering how much trouble it had caused me so far. It was more like a curse, really.

"That's because you can't control it," he informed we with a grin. I could see the twinkling in his eye, and suddenly my heart had leapt with hope.

"Can you help me?" He moved his extended hand slightly, offering me to take it. I sighed and felt his rough skin as he helped me to stand up.

"I would be honored to."

* * *

"This is quite simple, love," he says, thankfully backing away and starting to pace in front of me. "You put this cuff on, I let Baelfire go." Despite my desire to keep my expression unreadable, my eyes wide open in surprise.

"You would replace The Dark One's son for me?" I say with a raised eyebrow, my tone more incredulous than surprised.

He smiles broadly. It is neither warm nor comforting, only furthering his air of insanity. "You are far more valuable than you give yourself credit for. You are the only person in all the realms with such powerful magic. I'm pretty sure of what I'm doing, love. The question is, are you willing to completely give up your freedom for him?" He says, and it's like a dagger slowly twisting in my gut.

I know that if he takes away my magic, then it's all over. I will break, and be a prisoner forever. It's my freedom or Bae's. The deal I already made with Pan insures that if I behave right then Bae will remain unharmed and unbothered, but even that isn't a comforting thought. He is still alone and unhappy, living a life of complete isolation. He has been living like this for more years than one could count, I know deep in my heart that he has already suffered enough. No matter how long we were away from each other, I still love him like a brother, and I don't want him to go through this anymore. Even if it means I will have to in his place.

I sigh deeply before replying. "Alright, Pan. It's a deal. You finally won." I say dryly, allowing the anger to reach my voice.

Pan smiles at me even more broadly than before, and there's a glint of prideful victory in his eyes. He takes a few steps towards me and extends his hand, offering me the cuff. I stare at the magical object for a moment before grabbing it, feeling the soft leather against my fingers. I take a deep breath, and closing my eyes for a split second, place it on my left wrist. The moment it is on, I feel empty. It's like missing an arm or a leg, but this is far worse because I know that what's really missing is part of my soul. And I immediately have this feeling, that I have to get it back. I need it back. Without it I'll never be whole again.

The smug teenager doesn't even try to hide how happy he is. He is grinning all over, and his smirk has broadened into a condescending smile, which is even more infuriating. He teleports himself only a few inches away from me, leering at me with his huge dark orbs.

"You know what the best part is?" He whispers in my ear, venom in every word. "I'm the only one who can take the cuff off." My hands immediately react by pushing him away from me as hard as I can, and in the next moment I'm using all my strenght in an unsuccessful attempt to pull the damn cuff off me, though it seems to be permanently stuck to my skin.

"Don't bother, it won't work." He states, and I glare at him with hatred emanating off my features. I should've known he would keep this small piece of imformation from our deal. I imagine myself smashing his head againts a tree trunk, though without magic I'm more helpless than before. Almost like a child again.

"How could you?" is all I manage to say, my tone accusing but soft at the same time. I feel the tears threatening to fall down my face, pooling in the corners of my eyes, but I refuse to cry infront of him so I force them back in.

"I'm sorry, love, but I have to make sure that the cuff stays on as long as I want it to." I couldn't feel more helpless than I already do, so when he starts kissing me, I let him. Unlike what I was expecting, the kiss is soft and gentle, with long but strong pulls. His hand is already on my waist, stroking softly, but I don't respond in the slightest. I only stand there, waiting for him to finish, feeling as the sense of emptiness the cuff gives me dissappears slightly. I can already picture myself clinging for Pan's presence, wanting more and more of him in hope of eliminating the emptiness that I know will never quite go away, but doing it anyway just to ease it.

When he pulls away, I realize that my face is wet with tears. Pan whipes them off with the back of his hand. "Now Baelfire will be free. And you will be mine. Forever."

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**I'm so sorry for the late update! I just hope you enjoyed this chapter and that it can make up for it.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I don't own Once Upon a Time**

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Chapter 9: Goodbyes

When I enter the cave, Bae is lying in a fetus position on the flat rock he uses as his bed –a reaction to the stinging cold of the night. As I approach him quietly, I take a moment to absorb the image of his closed eyes and his relaxed expression, admiring something that is far too rare these days.

"Bae," I whisper, and it's all it takes for him to wake up. He has a light sleep just like I do; that's what happens when you don't feel safe.

His face lights up the moment he recognizes me and, before I know it, he is embracing me in a strong, tight hug.

"You are back," he says, and I can feel his pain through every word, every syllable. He has missed me just as much as I've missed him. "You are finally back."

"I am," I reply, feeling a lump in my throat. I know what comes next. I know this embrace, no matter how amazing it feels, can't last forever –so I cling to him tightly and for as long as I possibly can, until I know I can't extend time for any longer and am forced to begrudgingly remove my hand from his back, taking a step away from him.

"How did you do it? How did you escape Pan?" It takes only a moment for his smile to disappear once he really looks into my blue eyes and reads my disgruntled expression. "What's wrong?"

I sigh, then reveal my other hand that I had been hiding behind my back and expose the coconut candle. His face is a mix of confusion and worry, and I watch as his head turns to the corner of the cave where he had last left it before looking back at me again.

"How do you have it?"

"I took it earlier in the morning. You were asleep," I lie, my voice a pained whisper. It was Pan, in fact, who had been the one to take it. I knew that the only way to get it without waking Bae up was by using magic and, because of the cuff, Pan ended up being the perfect candidate for the job.

"But _why_?" His voice is weary now; not curious like before.

"Because I knew it could be perfect to trap Pan's shadow and force it to take you home," I explain, a smile forming on my face as the thought of Bae finally leaving Neverland reaches me.

"Wait, what? I mean, how could you not tell me this before? I could've come with you!"

I blink at him, shocked. I just told him I have a way to get him off this bloody island, and _that _is what gets stuck in his head. He is angry; I realize that as his voice starts rising higher and higher.

"That's exactly why I couldn't tell you! I knew you wouldn't have given the candle up unless you came with me. And I had to protect you, okay? It was too dangerous."

"You don't get to protect me anymore!" he yelled, and his face glowed red with fury. "You can't! You never could! You couldn't even stop my father from abandoning me!"

Silence.

His breathing is loud and rough in my ear, though it quickly starts to slow as he begins to calm down. I stay quiet for a long moment as that horrible night replays itself in my mind, and I'm back to blaming myself again. Bae is right; it's my fault.

"The shadow is trapped in this coconut candle," I say into the quiet, my voice dead-serious. "And we can make it get you out of here. Make it take you back home."

He sighs. "I'm sorry, Zoe. It's just…this place; it's tearing me apart. It wasn't your fault. You wanted to keep your magic and I get that, I know it's a part of you that can't be replaced. Unlike my father, you immediately told me that you wouldn't be joining us to this world without magic, you didn't know he would regret his decision in the last minute. You didn't abandon me; you thought I would be okay with my father, you said goodbye."

But I still had promised to myself to protect him no matter what, which is why now I need to help him get out of here at any cost. I knew Rumple; I should've predicted that he would never give up his powers. I chose to stay in the Enchanted Forest because I didn't want to give them up either, they make me who I am.

"Are you sure the shadow will listen to us?" Bae asks.

"I am. We'll make him listen," I state, already knowing that the shadow has clear instructions from Pan to get Bae out of here. But Bae can't know that, of course. For some weird reason I can't quite understand, Pan wants Bae to think he is escaping by himself. I'm more than okay with it, really, because should Bae know about my deal with Pan he would never forgive himself. He might even try and come back to save me to relieve that guilt, and I wouldn't be able to forgive _myself_ if anything happened to him in the process.

"You need to go now, though. It's only a matter of time before Pan figures out his shadow is missing," I explain to Bae, though the thought of never seeing him again makes me almost regret what I'm doing.

"_We_ need to go now," Bae corrects me. Though when he sees my expression, I can pinpoint the exact moment in which he realizes that I didn't use that pronoun by mistake. "Zoe? You are coming with me, right?" He asks cautiously, and then I can't take it anymore –a tear falls from my eye, streaming down my face.

"I'm sorry, Bae. But I can't." I then raise the sleeve of my jacket, revealing the leather cuff around my wrist. "Pan…he put this cuff on me. It prevents me from leaving Neverland." Lie. Again.

It only takes a moment for Bae to grab my arm and start trying desperately to tear the cuff from my wrist, but with absolutely no results.

"It won't work," I assure him. "Only Pan can take it off."

He has tears all over his face, and I can see the pain shining from every ounce of his expression. "That's not fair! That demon can't keep you here! I'm not leaving you, Zoe. You hear me? We'll find a way to get out of here together."

I merely shake my head, trying the hardest I can not to break down completely. "Like I said; it's only a matter of time before Pan finds out his shadow is missing. This may be your only shot. I'm not letting you stay here any longer."

"But…when he finds out what you did…"

"-He won't hurt me," I cut him off, taking a step closer to him. "He won't." I try my best to sound as sure as possible, though it's not like I really believe that. It's not like I'm not aware that the rest of my life will be spent here on this island, under the control of the most demon-like creature I know.

"But Zoe…"

"-I still have my magic, remember? I'll find a way to stop him. That's a promise." Lie. But he needs to think I'll be okay. Suddenly are hugging again, so strongly I can barely breathe, but I only pull him in tighter.

"I will miss you so much," he makes out through the tears. I know he will, but the fact that he will be free makes it all worth it.

* * *

I am sitting with my back against a tree trunk, my knees against my chest, crying softly. It's the first time I've truly cried since I arrived to Neverland. I don't really know how long I've been crying out here, but I don't care. All I want to do is disappear. Fade away into the atmosphere and never return again.

Bae left. We made the shadow take him to a place without magic. Somewhere he will be safe –where he has a chance of being happy again. I'm glad he did, though now I don't know what to do. He left and the last thing I said to him was a lie.

"It's okay." My face shoots up to see the smug teenager standing in front of me. My fists itch with anger, though for once I don't care if he sees me cry. I don't care if he sees my weakness. "You'll forget him eventually."

"Leave me alone," I snap at him as I whip the tears off my face. He only chuckles and takes a few more steps towards me, offering me his hand.

"C'mon, love," he says with that evil smirk of his wide across his face. "Take it."

I glance at his hand, then back at his grey eyes, narrowing my own. "Or what? You'll hurt me?" I say, though I'm afraid to hear the answer.

"Let's hope it doesn't have to come to that," he replies, and it's like a dagger slowly twisting in my gut. I breathe in heavily, assessing all my options. Bae, the only thing that prevented me from fighting Pan was Bae. But if back then my chances of winning were low, now that I don't have my magic, I can't even afford to try. I'm hopeless.

So I grab his hand, and he pulls me up to stand beside him.

I don't even manage to blink before he has me against the tree trunk, his hand on my waist, his lips almost touching mine. I realize now, his breath hitting in soft, warm pulses on the side of my face, that I've never been more afraid of him. I've never felt so incredibly vulnerable. He has complete control over me, and there's nothing I can do about it.

"Don't worry," he says. "You will be just fine here with me." And then he closes the space between us.

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**I'm incredibly sorry for the late update, but I hope this chapter can make up for it and that you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please review!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I don't own Once Upon a Time**

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Chapter 10: Real intentions

It's amazing how simple the action of walking really is. We are not born with it naturally, as we are with breathing, yet it's one of the first things we learn after we are born. Place one foot in front of the other, repeat over and over again, and that's all there is to it.

It's amazing how something so simple could've become so hard for me to do these days.

Ever since Bae left, it's as if my energy is being gradually sucked out from me, leaving me with nothing more than tired legs and a sense of exhaustion I can't seem to get rid of.

I can still walk, though, just not as much as I could before he was gone.

I'm walking now, deciding to ignore my aching tiredness and force my legs to keep moving, because _anything_ it better than being with Pan. He has thankfully been giving me some space lately, understanding that its better not to push me when I'm trying to let Bae go, get him out of my head.

But the thing is... I can't.

The whole island is filled with his aura, and every little thing reminds me of him. I can't stop wondering how he is doing, if he is happy, if he is alone. Every time I think of him my mind takes me back to the last time I saw him, back when the shadow was grabbing his wrist and they were both flying away, disappearing into nothing but two specks in the horizon. That image hunts me every night, taking my sleep away and invading my thoughts without mercy.

It's almost impossible to think about anything else, no matter how hard I try.

I'm just not ready to let him go yet. I don't know if I'll ever be.

When he was here in the island, even if I barely got to spend any time with him, at least I felt like I had someone I could count on, someone I could trust and hold onto. He made me feel safer. He was the one thing I saw as what would prevent me from letting Pan win and making me lose who I am, because he was constantly there to remind me of who I was before I came to Neverland.

He was one of the few persons who truly knew me.

I was so lost in my thoughts and timeless misery, I almost missed her.

Of course, if I had my magic, this never would've happen, since I would've sensed her aura long before she appeared in front of me. But I don't have my magic anymore.

Everything thanks to Pan.

The blond woman had emerged from my right, making us both stop dead at the sight of each other. For a moment, the two of us stand completely still, only a meter or two between our lithe bodies. We prepare to strike if anything goes wrong, in case one of us suddenly decides to attack the other.

But as I get a better look at her young face, her red cheeks and her blue eyes, so gentle and vastly different from Peter's, I find myself relaxing immediately, already knowing that she's harmless.

"So you are the new one," she says bitterly, her body already being far too relaxed for my liking. Her flat tone catches me off at first, but I manage to recover quickly from the shock. She looks so...nice, I really wasn't expecting her to act like this around me.

But, then again, that's what this island does to people. It tears them apart from the inside until there is nothing left of their personalities, until they are not more than mindless soldiers. I don't think she is a soldier, though. I don't think she is in Pan's side at all.

She just looks like a someone who has been through hell to survive, and has end up losing herself in the process.

I guess we have that in common.

"You could hardly call me that, since I've already been here for quite a while," I reply, keeping my voice with as little expression as possible.

I've been in this island for six months and I've never seen her before, never even heard of her. This means that she must be new. Maybe she just arrived to Neverland. But I immediately push that thought away, figuring that if that were the case then she wouldn't be so calm; she would be desperately asking me for a way to get out of here. A woman like her, I predict, has at least been in the island for a few years.

Probably much longer.

"But you don't look like you are new at all, how is it that we haven't seen each other before?" I ask her. I wonder why Pan never mentioned this woman existed. What else is he keeping from me?

"I've been here for a really long time, Zoe. Long enough to know how not to get myself into trouble, and that means staying away from you. We haven't met before because I didn't want to. I still don't, actually." But why wouldn't she? I hate that she is acting so mysterious.

Of course she doesn't trust me, but I don't trust her either. For all I know, she could be working for Pan to find out stuff about me or put things in my head.

And she knows my name. I can't help to feel annoyed about that, because if she knows my name and I don't know hers it automatically makes me be in a disadvantage, and I'm not used to that. I'm not surprised that she does, though, since Neverland is not that big of an island and word troubles fast around here.

She probably knew who I was since I arrived, which brings me back to questioning how is it that I missed her presence. She said she didn't want to meet me, so she must have been avoiding me for all this time.

But its really not that easy to avoid someone for that long in a place this small. I had to meet her at some point eventually, and its happening now.

"You think I'm _trouble_?" I ask cautiously, disguising how anxious I truly am to hear her answer, to know what she means.

"Well, Pan already told me a while ago to stay away from you. You see, he has been letting me live alone in the island without bothering me, and if I don't follow his wishes that could easily change," she then moves her head from side to side, as if worrying that we are being watched. When she faces me again, she is not calm anymore; she is rushing through her words, eyes wide and anxious.

"This is why I should go now," she begins walking past me before I can react, almost sprinting away from me.

I sight in frustration. "Why does he leave you alone when I can barely get any time for myself?" My voice makes her stop walking, though she continous to face away from me.

And I ask her because I truly don't know what Pan sees in me that makes him so obsessed. It's just unfair that I have to put up with Pan every day and she doesn't; it makes me almost jealous of her. Being trapped in the island already sucks, but it is not nearly as horrible as also having a demon breathing down your neck and having to worry about surviving his games and not getting hurt.

I need to worry all the time about not breaking, about not giving in to him.

"I don't know. I guess it's because of your magic. I heard it's special somehow. Pan has always loved to collect rare things," she says, only making my frustration increase.

So what if I have magic? It doesn't make me _special, _it just makes me different. I've always loved my magic, but since I arrived to this bloody island I've wished I never had it in the first place. It would've saved me all this trouble. He is making me hate what makes me who I am. All because I hate that it makes Peter want me that badly.

I wish he could just leave me alone for good.

Maybe, if I didn't have my magic, Pan would've let me return to the Enchanted Forest like if everything were just a simple mistake. Or he would still make me stay here but at least he would leave me alone, like he does with this woman.

But if Pan wants me that badly because of my magic, then I don't see why he still does when I can't even use it anymore because of the cuff. I know that he intends to remove the cuff at a point in my life, but I don't see that happening anytime soon. Not as long as he knows I haven't broken.

"But he took that away!" I yell, allowing my voice to get out of control. I really don't get how his mind works. I truly don't. Maybe if I could understand his way of thinking I could accept it and I wouldn't be so frustrated about the whole situation.

She turns around completely to face me, seeming far more interested in our conversation than before. "You mean…he _removed _your magic?" She asks with a raised eyebrow, as if she didn't know doing that was even possible.

"Well, only temporally. But yeah, he did," I reply, slightly worried about how serious her voice has turned. She then walks closer to me and looks me up and down, as if searching for something. There's curiosity twinkling in her eyes.

"How?" I hesitate at first, but it's her determined tone what finally makes me lift the sleeve of my jacket, revealing to her the cuff. At the sight of it, her eyes widen and her hand reaches for her mouth.

She whispers something I can't quite catch and breathes out heavily, as if trying to keep herself together. Then she is lifting my arm up so that she can get a better look at it. Her fingers reach for the cuff, but it's like she can't bring herself to touch it, so she ends up letting my arm fall at my side and taking a step back.

"I know what that is," she states, her voice so serious I'm almost afraid to hear what she has to say. "Unlike what you may think, this cuff hasn't always been Pan's possession. I came from the Enchanted Forest just like you did, and back then I was a fairy. The cuff is so dangerous; it was my duty and the other fairies' to protect it from the wrong hands. One day it was stolen. We never knew who did it, and we never saw it again. But now it's here."

I don't get how someone can stop being a fairy from one minute to the other. She must have done something bad to deserve that, something truly bad. Not like that's even what matters right now, but I can't stop wondering about her past now that she just told me we come from the same realm.

The Enchanted Forest, my home. I'm not even sure that place exists anymore because of Regina's curse. I don't know what happened to any of the people who lived there; Rumple, Snow White, James, they may all be gone.

"What does this have to do with anything?" I ask her. Knowing a little bit about her past has helped me know more about who I'm talking to, and I'm grateful for that, but I still don't see how the fact that she used to guard the cuff relates with the current situation.

She sighs. "Because I used to spend so much time protecting the cuff, I know a lot about it." She pauses, as if saying her next words pained her. "I know that, for instance, if one was to wear it for a really extended period of time...it could be fatal."

I swallow hard at that.

Her tone is so determined, so convincing...but she is lying. She has to be. I've been wearing the cuff for almost three months and nothing wrong has happened to me, I don't feel even slightly different. None of this makes any sense. Besides, if Pan wanted to kill me, he would've done it long ago. He wouldn't be going through all this trouble to do so, would he?.

"You're lying," I say as confidently as I can manage with the worry swirling in my gut.

She doesn't really strike me as someone who is working for Pan, so I don't think there's a chance of her to be telling me this to manipulate me into doing what he wants. So what does she win by lying to me? Nothing. Then she must be telling the truth, but what she is saying is so out of the ordinary I still hesitate to believe her.

I don't want to.

"Am I? Of course, if you put the cuff on for just a few days then it wont do anything else other than prevent you from using your magic, but if you'd had it on for more than a month, then that's when the symptoms begin. The more you wear it, the worse they get. The process is really slow, though, so you still have a few years before it actually kills you."

But I haven't been experiencing any symptoms. I'm fine.

Unless...

I've been overly tired these past few months, and until now I always thought it was because of Bae. I thought I didn't want to try to survive anymore if he wasn't there, if it meant I would be completely alone. But maybe I've been looking at it wrong. Maybe this fairy is right. Bae left the same day Pan put the cuff on me. Maybe he has nothing to do with my tiredness... it's the cuff that's the problem.

"When the symptoms begin," the former fairy continues. "It means that the cuff isn't just preventing you to use your magic. It's removing your energy bit by bit, sucking out your life."

If I decide to ignore the fact that Pan's intentions don't match up with any of this, then she could be right. One of the first things Rumple taught me was that my magic is a huge part of me; it is what makes me who I am. And if this cuff prevents me from having it, then it makes sense that it will someday end my life.

She could be right. She most probably _is _right.

I could be dying without even knowing it.

"You're saying…when Pan put this cuff on me he was doing it to _kill_ me?" He said his intention was to break me, he was supposed to remove it as soon as I was 'ready', though this wouldn't be the first time he has lied to me.

And surely it wouldn't be the last.

But what hurts the most is that I trusted him. I took his word for granted without hesitation, without even thinking that he could have other intentions for using the cuff on me other than breaking me. How could I've been so stupid to just believe him, after everything he's done?

Is it really possible that he put the cuff on me not to break me, but so that I would suffer a slow and painful death?

_But would I've done anything different if I knew the cuff would kill me from the beggining?_

No, I wouldn't. I would've put the cuff on anyway for Bae, even if it meant I would die. Because that's why I did this; for him. I did everything for him. I made the deal with Pan so that Bae could leave this bloody island and have a true chance of happiness.

I think that, even if I didn't know the cuff would literally kill me, I was still somehow letting myself die when I put it on. Because I knew that I would lose my freedom and any chance of getting it back, I knew that I was condemning myself for eternity and that I would most probably lose who I am over time, but I did it anyway.

For Bae. So, yes, I _would_ give my life for him, so I would've made the deal no matter the cost.

But what pisses me off is the fact that Pan didn't tell me I would die. He ommited that small detail, because maybe he wasn't sure I would go ahead with the deal.

But why would Pan want me to die? What would he win of it? I am supposed to be his precious possesion, the only one who has a mix of dark and light magic. If he didn't think I was special he would've just returned me to the Enchanted Forest the minute after the shadow brought me here.

So maybe he didn't want me to die.

Maybe he put the cuff on me thinking that it wouldn't take long to break me, so there would be no risk in me dying, because he would be removing the cuff before my condition became serious.

But how long did he think it would take to break me? The fairy said I only have a few years left. Did he really think it would be that easy? He couldn't have. Peter may be a lot of things, but he is not stupid. So then, if he was expecting me to take a long time in breaking and he knew that the cuff would kill me sooner than that, what was he really trying to do?

How deep does his plan go?

"I'm not sure what Pan wants, but I can tell you this," she says. "Maybe he doesn't even know the cuff can kill you. How could he? No one has had the cuff on for that long, and the fairies and I were the only ones who knew everything about it."

It's hard to believe that the legendary Peter Pan missed something so important as this. I am supposed to be his precious practitioner of magic, aren't I? He wouldn't risk using the cuff on me if he wasn't absolutely sure he knew everything about it.

"Maybe," I reply simply, sharing my jumbled thoughts with her being the least thing I want to do right now. "But why are you telling me all this?" The woman didn't even want to know me and now she is helping me.

I wouldn't believe what she is saying about the cuff if it weren't for the fact that she would be gaining nothing out of lying to me and that everything she tells me sounds so convincing.

She sighs deeply. "Because you helped Baelfire escape. We were both trapped here together for a long time and he became a dear friend of mine. He never would've gotten out without you. This is my way of thanking you for that. I'm telling you this so you can be aware of what is happening to you, and maybe now you have a chance of saving yourself before it's too late."

I nod at her, thanking her without words. She knowing Bae hadn't even crossed my mind, and I'm glad he wasn't so alone after all. At least he had someone he could count on from time to time when I wasn't there for him. But why did her never mentioned that this fairy existed?

Perhaps he knew that if she talked to me then Pan could find out, which would put her in danger. He just wanted to protect her. From me. But that's okay, he was right in keeping the two of us out of each other's way.

"I really need to go now," the fairy says. "I've already been talking to you for too long." I get it. If Pan sees her with me, who knows what he could to her. She turns around and starts to walk away, and for a moment I let her.

"Wait," I say suddenly, making her stop and turn her head over her shoulder. "What's your name?" Thanks to her I know I'm dying, and now I can do something about it. For her own safety, I may never see her again. At least I want to know a detail of her identity.

She hands me a gentle smile. "Tinkerbell."

And then she was gone.

I lean against a tree trunk with my heart racing and pounding painfully against my chest, trying as hard as I can to breathe at regular intervals. I take in a deep breath in an attempt to calm down. I do this several times until my heart is relatively back to normal, and then the thoughts start to come back, this time stronger than before.

I know that I'm dying. Really slowly, but I am –that much has been made clear.

What I'm not sure about are Pan's intentions. I could just assume that he doesn't know that the cuff can kill me, but there's also a chance that he does know, and, if so, I don't have the slightest clue of what he is planning. Why would he use the cuff if he knew it would kill me, therefore inhibiting the time he had to break me before it was too late? It just doesn't make any sense.

Unless...

Maybe he _was_ intending for me to die, but only if I didn't break!

Maybe he truly wanted to break me, and so he hoped that it would happen before the cuff killed me. But perhaps he was thinking that, if a certain amount of years went by and I hadn't broken by then, then there would be no hope for me breaking in the future. So maybe he put the cuff on me hoping that it would break me, but thinking that, if it didn't, I would be better off dead. So he made a time lapse and, if I went through it without doing what he is excepting of me, he would let the cuff kill me instead.

I don't really know which one of the two theories to believe. Truly, if he does or doesn't know about me dying doesn't matter. All that matters is that I need to get him to take the cuff off of me before it's too late.

That is, if I really want to live.

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**A/N:**

**I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! Any reviews about Zoe's thought process? Any hypothesis? Do you think Pan knows that the cuff will eventually kill Zoe? **

**Any questions? I hope you all understood this chapter since it's important for the story later on. Any feedback?**

**Please revieww :D **


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I don't own Once Upon a Time**

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Chapter 11: Back to old fights

"Pan I... _stubbed_ him," I say, my eyes locked with Felix's. He is seating on a stump at the other end of the camp - glaring at me across the flames of the bonfire that lies between us whilst he plays with his knife, his expression so serious and deadly it almost makes me want to cringe. "So don't you dare tell me he isn't holding a grudge. It's not a thing you just forget about."

Of course Felix still remembers the day in which Pan left the two of us alone in the camp, ordering him to make sure I didn't escape. That's when things got complicated, and I ended up stubbing him and running away. That was only a few months ago, when Bae was still in the island.

I've been avoiding him since then, staying away from the camp as much as possible. The fact that Peter was giving me some time alone to mourn Bae helped, but that seems to be over now.

I can't keep this up. Sooner or later I'm going to have to talk to Felix. I just don't know how it will go.

Well, if him looking at me like if I was his prey isn't giving me a hint, I don't know what is.

"The Lost Boys told me what happened," Peter replies. He is sitting next to me, his arm wrapped around my shoulder and our backs against a tree trunk. "You were simply trying to defend yourself, he'll understand that."

Except he wont. Because I _wanted _to hurt him. I didn't need to stub him; it was the easiest way out, but I still could've done something far less extreme and still had escaped without any permanent damage.

Hell, I still had my magic back then. I could've just made him stop slicing my throat by only sending him flying backwards.

That would've barely hurt him, which is why a part of me decided to stub him instead. That way he could have a permanent scar, reminding him to never mess with me again.

He hadn't done anything to me. There was no reason for me to do what I did.

But I was angry at Pan, so I took it all out on Felix because hurting an immortal demon whilst Bae was still in the island was out of the question, and he was the closest thing I could find that would satisfy this anger.

The idea of comfronting Pan has always been crazy; a suicide act I've always been tempted to do but, neverthelss, never been able to because there has always been something holding me back since I arrived to Neverland.

First, it was Bae.

I knew that there was a really good chance of me dying if I went ahead with it, and I couldn't stand the fact that, if I was gone, that poor kid would be left alone. If he was anyone else, I wouldn't care. But he is _Bae; _the son of the man who raised me like his own daughter, the one who taught me everything I now know.

So, no. I wasn't risking dying and, with that, destroying his chance of getting out of this island and being happy. I owed Rumple that much.

Now that Bae is gone, though, it is the cuff.

I no longer have my magic, so I can't even begin to consider going against Pan. I don't even know if I would do it if I can succeed in making him take the cuff off of me.

I still remember being so scared about breaking my deal with Pan to stay in camp, scared that he would go after Bae without giving me any time to explain that I had no other choice but to run away from Felix.

It was my only option if I wanted to prevent hurting Felix even more than I already had, because I have no doubt that as soon as he recovered from the shock of the knife entering his chest, he would've attacked me with all he had.

And then I would've been forced to defend myself, even if it meant leaving him with even further damage.

I sigh. "But I was the one who pushed him into hurting me."

This is my fault. And the worse part is that I don't feel any guilt. Not even the slighest bit.

"It doesn't matter now, I healed him right away. He wasn't in pain for that long, so don't blame yourself," he says, succesfully sounding like he actually cares about how I feel.

I would almost believe him if I didn't know better.

Does he really think I would blame myself for hurting someone I don't even care about? If he does, then he trully doesn't know me as much as he claimes to.

Except he does.

Pan knows I'm not one of those cheerful, hopeful people who call themselves heroes. I think thats one of the main reasons why he seems to like me so much -because, in a way, I'm like him. I grew up with Rumple, who taught me to rip out hearts and kill inocent people. Even if I like it or not, there's darkness inside me. That's why Pan keeps telling me we are so much alike. And even though I get his point, I refuse to accept it.

I would never capture innocent kids, separate them from their families, wash their brains, and make them stay trapped for eternity. I know I've done terrible things, but I'm not nearly as dark as Pan is.

So if he just suggested I would do something that is so unlike me, that means he is barely paying attention to what I'm saying to him.

His mind is somewhere else.

"I don't," I reply, and I don't care if he knows I'm messed up and don't feel any remorse about hurting people. He is far more messed up than I am. "I'm just telling you he does."

I don't blame Felix for wanting to hurt me after what I did to him. In fact, I understand it. If the situation was reversed, I would already have my hands around his throat.

The only thing holding him back is Pan. Felix knows Peter would get dangerously mad if he killed me, but would he mind if Felix simply hurt me? Does he even realize how much Felix wants his revenge?

I don't think he cares. It seems like lately he hasn't been paying much attention to what is going on. A month ago, the day after Tinkerbell spoke to me, he didn't even notice the way I looked at him now that I had found out that I'm dying and that maybe he is planning to kill me if I fail to become 'his'.

I looked at him like if he had just commited an awful crime and he didn't even ask what was wrong. Before, he noticed even the most insignificant change in my expression, but now it's like he is so worried about something, he can't entirely focus on anything else. He has been getting out of Neverland a lot to do 'business', which I don't think is about bringing in more Lost Boys anymore.

He is up to something. I can feel it. He just doesn't want to tell me about it. Felix seems to know, but there's no way I'm getting the imformation out of him.

Still, what Pan is doing should be the least of my concerns. If he so worried and distracted, then that means...

I'll have to deal with Felix on my own.

* * *

I am walking rapidly away from the camp, getting as far away as possible when the level of nausea begins to rise. I stop and place my hand on a tree trunk for support when I think I'm about to thow out, though after a moment I realize the time hasn't come yet. So I lean against a tree trunk and sigh, which is the same thing I've done the first time, and the time after that, and the time after that, for the last couple of days -only most of the time my feeling was right, and I ended up vomiting after all.

I don't want to go back to camp, where I know Pan won't be and Felix will. Peter has been so absent lately, and I would be more grateful and at the same time curious about what he is doing if it weren't for my overwhelming worry produced by the uncertainty of the time in which Felix will get his revenge for what I did to him.

Considering what Pan would do to him, I doubt what Felix is planning is fatal, though I do believe it involves hurting me.

I really wouldn't be so anxious if he would just get it over it, because I'm tired of having him as a problem. He is distracting me from the things I really need to worry about, such as, for instance, the fact that I'm slowly dying because of the cuff.

Whether or not Pan is aware of that fact doesn't matter -the only thing I should be worrying about right now is how to stop it from happening. I need to find a way to save myself, which is something I've been thinking a lot of during the past month I've been aware of the terrible fate Pan has brought upon me.

He put the cuff on me in the first place because he knew it would take a huge part of me, which would make me feel empty and have enough room for him to fill my mind with whatever he desires. Being so vulnerable is what, in his mind, would lead me to break and I would end up following his every wish.

Therefore, the only way he will no longer feel the need for me to have the cuff is if I break. Not like that's a real option, but pretending like I am is. I've always been good at acting, and Pan would probably buy my performance for enough time to remove the cuff.

The thing is, what happens then? Am I supposed to keep pretending I'm okay with being his weapon forever?

"Already trying to escape, I see," I almost jump at the sound of Felix's monotonous voice and my body is already facing him in the blink of an eye, standing up straight.

For the first time since I've been in Neverland, I wish the teenager who is standing only a few feet away from me were Pan, not his second-in-command. I can't believe I didn't here Felix approaching me sooner, but the cuff seems to be making my senses weaken. "And here I thought you would wait a few more minutes."

"I'm already trapped in the island, Felix," I reply as bitterly as I can manage. He doesn't scare me -what does is how my survival instinct will uncontrollably react when he starts looking to begin a fight, because when I really feel threatened there's no telling how much damage I can cause. "I don't need to be in camp every second of the day."

I can't stop myself from tensing when he takes a few steps in my direction as he speaks, though I don't back away. His body looks so relaxed, though his eyes tell differently. They are the same I saw when he was gently and shallowly slicing my thoat with his knife, the undeniable thirst for blood. "Still, I wanted to talk to you."

"Well, I'm all ears," I challenge, already knowing exactly what he is here for and, therefore, what will come next. "What do you want."

Felix takes three more steps closer to me, and I can't ignore a glimpse I catch of the knife he is hiding under his sleeve.

"I think you already know," And he is right, I do know, but I still wanted him to say it. He won't leave me alone until he is satisfied, and I can't keep worrying over him anymore, I need to be left alone. My time is running out, and I have absolutely no idea of what I'm going to do to save myself.

I don't even know if saving myself is the best cours of action...

I mean, if my plan works and I somehow manage to make Pan remove the cuff from me, then I'm still a prisoner for eternity. If I just let it take effect, then it will all be over. Because, is living like this really living? Being someone's _property?_ Not being able to be where and when I want to? Unable to be with Bae, the family I love?

Maybe if I got Pan to remove the cuff, I could find out a way out of Neverland by using my magic. I know it's a long shot, but it's better than dying here with Pan holding my hand.

The bare thought makes me shiver.

I sigh deeply and realize that Felix is now so close he could reach out and touch me if he wanted to. "Alright then." I say, forcing the words to leave my mouth. "I won't fight you, just get it over with."

If he finally gets what he wants, then he leaves me alone and lets me think what my next move will be with Pan.

Slowly, too slowly, he reveals the knife from under his sleeve, placing it against my cheek. I follow it with my eyes, though I force myself to remain still. One small twist and an insignificant increase in pressure and he would be hurting me, cutting through my skin just like he did the first time.

Every ounce of my body is screaming for me to defend myself, to at least do _something._

_No, don't move. You need to let him do what he wants_.

Otherwise, he'll never stop going after me with his thirst for revenge. And I need to be left alone now more than ever. He can't kill me or hurt me too badly because Pan won't let him, so whatever he does to me won't be too serious. I can handle a small scar.

I've been through a lot worse.

Feeling prepared for the pain that will probably come right about now, I glance at the knife, then back at Felix's greenish eyes, and give him a small smile - letting him know I'm not the least bit affraid of him.

Seeing my fearless reaction, I can feel his hand tighten around the weapon. "It's amazing how much I want to hurt you, Zoe,"

"Then what are you waiting for," I reply smugly, though I regret saying it as soon as the words leave my mouth. He is trully angry for what I did to him, maybe so much he may even forget what Pan will do to him if he kills me, and I'm taunting him like if nothing was wrong. As if we were just old friends playing around.

At hearing my words, Felix smirks and, for a moment, I really think this is it. He is going to cut through my flesh and I'm about to just let him. What has Pan done to me? By putting the cuff on me, he has me in such a defensless position, so worried about what having it on me will do to me and what Pan is really up to, that I am willing to let Felix hurt me only so he can finally leave me alone.

Ever since I arrived to Neverland I've been trying to survive and get out. Nothing else. Until now I had never realized how trully desperate I am.

My whole body tightens as I prepare myself for the pain but, instead of deepening the knife, Felix slowly lowers it and places it on his belt -taking a few steps back. "This is not the way," he says in such a low voice I'm not even sure he intended for me to listen.

I only manage to stand there staring at him.

What is he doing? Doesn't he want to hurt me anymore? No, a mere glance at his deadly eyes tell me there's no way he is feeling sorry for me. Then why would he back away from such an easy target? I replay his words in my mind over and over, trying to find out something I might be missing.

_'This is not the way.' _Did he come up with a _better _way? A much worse way to hurt me, to make me pay for what I did to him. That must be it, but I can't believe it. I'm giving him the chance of doing it now so that he will not bother me again, but if he leaves me unharmed in hopes of attacking me later, then there would be no point. He would still be distructing me from Pan, what trully matters.

No, he has to do it now.

"Felix, I am standing right here. If you want to hurt me, this is your best shot." I say, my voice dead-serious. He looks me up and down, but says nothing and starts walking away from me. Just like that.

"Felix!" He stops for a moment when he is a few feet away, and turns to look at me.

"Don't worry about me hurting you anymore, Zoe. It's no use; you will get what you deserve over time." With that, he turns around again and keeps walking away. He is about to dissappear into the trees, but I want answers. He doesn't get to just leave me hanging like that, with something else for me to put into the huge pile of things I need to think through.

My mind is already too busy to deal with him later.

I close my eyes and picture myself infront of him, dreaming I could just stop him from walking and force him to talk to me. He is too far away. If I could just...

For a brief second, I feel a wave of energy rushing through me, as if I had just drunk five cups of coffee. The sensation is very much familiar; I feel it every time I use my magic.

I blink and almost crush against Felix, who thankfully manages to stop walking in time before our bodies collide. He is standing in front of me, his eyes wide opened. But he had his back turned against me just a second ago. He was walking away from me, not towards me.

Before I can make any sense of what just happened, I suddenly can't breathe. I let out a cry as pain goes through me, feeling like a dagger twisting in my gut. My legs collapse and I'm forced to my knees as I feel a wave of magic leaving my body in the form of a ring, quickly expanding around me and, when reaching the stunned Felix, throwing him backwards and making him fall on his back.

As fast as it came, the pain dissappears, but I'm not nearly alright. There's a ringing in my ears, and I suddenly feel hugely dizzy. Is Felix standing up or is he still lying down from the impact? I can't tell. Everything is too blurry.

"Zoe!" Though I can barely make out a clear image, I think I catch the glow of pixie dust and a familiar sense of darkness before I can't make out anything anymore.

* * *

**A/N:**

**I'm sooo sorry for the late update! I really hope this chapter can make up to it, since it's a little longer than usual. I promise to never wait this long again, though school is so stressful that updating this fic hadn't crossed my mind until now. **

**Questions about what happened at the end of the chapter will be clarified in the next :) **


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